Saturday, September 20, 2014

Tell Me There's A Pass

My friends took Maya's side. That girl! She just keeps taking my friends! I always thought it sucked real bad when my life lyed on Farkle. Now I miss that. He was basically what I had. He hugged me, told me it's okay. He said to me last night this, "I've got you right here. You can cry to me." I really felt like I could go to him. Maya's stories had me cry my eyes out. Also, I have something else on mind about that. We may be in a fight, but of course I still want to cry about it, because I do care. I just don't show it. Now, I can't even cry to Farkle about it. I can only cry to.... nobody. Lucas is gone too. So, the only reason I am not being so nice to them, is ElderWisdomCircle. They said, "I know that normally I don't encourage this, but I think you're almost hopeless here, so this may help you. Just act to your friends like you don't care, and they'll feel concerned that you don't care. Finally, they'll care, and you'll care. This might be your only hope." So, my only hope was to make them feel that way, so I can explain to them I don't, and then make them and me happy. I miss my friends not turning on me! I told Farkle to take Maya's side. I said it because I didn't think he would. He... H-He did... he gave me up. He really thought I-I wanted that... I-I... This has been hard, really. I can't take this. I just hope that things can just resolve. I am not liking the new Maya. She's mean and negative... I want my girl back. The one that really cared. I never felt she was annoyed of me. Never. I-I guess so, though. I just remembered something about Maya's stories, and I don't even have anyone to cry to or tell. Farkle. He just... left.. like she did. One by one, they all left. Tell me that there will be something to put us back together. I just feel like I'm slipping away. Why can't there just be a pass through this.

A few weeks ago, I prayed to God. I prayed that I'd have someone to talk to about Maya's life. I mean, it hurt me to hear that. It would be cruel to talk to her about it. That's what I prayed for. God gave me Farkle. I realized that when you pray, you really do get what you need. Thank God for That! But now, why does God let me walk through this place of pain? I realized, God answers prayers. Here is my prayer...

Dear God,
God, thank you for giving me someone to talk to about Maya. I really did need that. I still do. Howcome they left, though? I thought they loved me, really, I did. B-But, they left me for the 3 of them. God, I just want them back. I want to still have Farkle to talk to about Maya's hard life, I want Lucas to be his nice Lucas self, I want Maya to be my best friend again. Can you make that happen for me? Can you answer my prayer and make it what needs to happen? Do what's best. Make it as good as you feel I need. God, I just want my friends back. Thank you, Jesus. I'll be sure to thank you again soon.

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