One by One We Lost

Last night, it all happened with Maya again. We went to bed with her and Farkle in the 2 main beds, and me in the Auggie one. I first cried lightly, and then it only got stronger and stronger. Eventually, I was crying like crazy. Like it happened the other night, Farkle came to me. This time, Maya came first. I didn't give in to her. I didn't give in because I knew I needed someone to talk to about her because she told Farkle her 3 year old story of her mom not paying any attention to her, and it caused me to cry more hearing that. So, I just lyed there. Then, after she left, my tears fell harder. Then, I felt a gentle hand touch my back. "Hi Riley" Farkle said sweetly. I ignored him and cried. "Are you okay?" He said. "Come here" he said struggling to turn me towards him. Finally, I turned to him. He had a loving hand on me. "Come give Farkle a hug. Come on, you know you want to." He said. As odd as he sounded saying that, I wanted to. I hugged him tightly. He didn't let me go, and I liked that. Finally, we both let go and he was asking me to tell him what's wrong. The first thing I said was, "I would've went to Maya if it wasn't about her. It's hard to talk to her about her and it's easier to-" I said as Farkle cut me off. "Easier to talk to Farkle." He said. I nodded. I told him what was wrong, and I cried when I talked about Maya's stories. He held me closely and tightly in his arms, and told me it was okay. Do you know how good that is? Someone is holding you closely and tightly. They wont let go, and they tell you that it's okay. Eventually, Farkle and I just talked a little bit off topic, but we still were hugging. I was basically hooked to that kid last night. He then eventually said that he wanted to go to bed, and I should choose whether to sleep with him or Maya. I chose Maya at first, then I looked at Farkle sitting there. I felt his arms wrap around me, and I liked that. I couldn't leave him. If Maya and I weren't fighting, I would have easily went more. I had Emily and Riley's DS with me listening to my songs. I turned it off, and went with Farkle. Maya woke up and she was negative. She was really mad. I felt like it was all my fault so I said so. Farkle convinced me it wasn't. I kept on threatening to go back on the Auggie bed stating it would be better off without me there, because I caused those problems. Finally, Farkle told me that she is mad at him, not me. He said that nobody will be mad at me. A part of me had disbelief there, but I was sad, exhausted, and terrified (from Maya's story, still). I lyed back down, and immediately layed my head on Farkle and cried hardly to him. He took my hand and held me in his arms until I fell asleep listening to my My Heart Is Broken. I woke up with Maya poking me. It seemed like she was trying to be rude. So, I didn't get up. She angrily walked upstairs. I leaned my head back on Farkle. He didn't move. I got up, and went to get ready for school. Eventually, Farkle came up. After bonding or talking or whatever it was with Farkle last night, we both walk upstairs like strangers. Like that never happened. Like we are in just as big of a fight as Maya and I are, when we weren't even fighting to begin. It was like one by one, we all stormed off on each other. It was Maya, then me, then Farkle. One by one, we lost each other.

After a long night and a long 6 years of life all together, we've finally taken off on each other. One by one, just gone like that. Goodbye is hard, but it has to be done. Maya left me and Farkle, I left Farkle, and Farkle just followed along. One by one we lost eachother.