Truly Madly Deeply

Hi guys! I still am not sure if I want this song as mine, but it is such an easy relation. So, I'm gonna do relations to a new song called Truly Madly Deeply by Cascada. I found it while listening to my song called Miracle by Cascada. Here goes nothing!
PS, SOME OF THIS HAS NO RELATION WHATSOEVER, IT WILL BE MENTIONED NEAR THE END OF THE POST!

I'll be your dream
I'll be your wish
I'll be your fantasy
I'll be your hope
I'll be your love
Be everything that you need.
I love you more with every breath
Truly, madly, deeply, do..

I will be strong
I will be faithful
Because I am counting on a new beginning
A reason for living
A deeper meaning yeah

I wanna stand with you on a mountain
I wanna bathe with you in the sea
I wanna lay like this forever
Until the sky falls down on me

And when the stars are shining brightly in the velvet sky
I'll make a wish send it to Heaven
That'll make you wanna cry
The tears of joy for all the pleasure and the certainty
That we're surrounded by the comfort and protection
Of the highest power and lonely hours
The tears devour you

I wanna stand with you on a mountain
I wanna bathe with you in the sea
I wanna lay like this forever
Until the sky falls down on me

Oh, can't you see it baby?
Don't have to close your eyes
'Cause it's standing right before you
All that you need will surely come

I'll be your dream
I'll be your wish
I'll be your fantasy
I'll be your hope
I'll be your love
Be everything that you need
I love you more with every breath
Truly, madly, deeply, do..

I wanna stand with you on a mountain
I wanna bathe with you in the sea
I wanna lay like this forever
Until the sky falls down on me

I wanna stand with you on a mountain
I wanna bathe with you in the sea
I want to lay like this forever
Until the sky falls down on me

(I wanna stand with you on a mountain
I wanna bathe with you in the sea
I want to lay like this forever
Until the sky falls down on me)

Basically, the chorus doesn't represent me. So, that MAJOR parts that MAJORLY don't represent me are "I wanna bathe with you in the sea" I mean, that's just gross to me. Okay! Thanks for viewing bye!

My New YouTube

Hey guys! I wanted to tell you something. On YouTube, I am now gonna start posting videos of myself talking or singing! I do a lot of covers and talk to you guys! Check out what I've got!!

Let me give you a few descriptions. The first video that I added is my Google stuff. Just a few things that I do around Google. My next one is Part 1 to my 17 minute introduction. The last one is Auggie and I covering Ellie Goulding's Your Song. PLEASE WATCH ON YOUTUBE!

Merry Christmas Eve!

Hey guys! Just here to say an early Merry Christmas, especially because it's Christmas Eve! Later I'll be opening my Christmas Eve present which is likely pyjamas!! It always is! I love it though!! I cannot wait for Christmas Day! Alright, thanks guys! Merry Christmas Eve!!

Have the best night tonight, and day tomorrow you all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D

Newer Songs

Guess what?! I have two new songs. My first song is Never Been Hurt by Demi Lovoto, VERY relateable. My next one is I'm Ok by Christina Aguilera, also representing! I love both these songs very much!! I am very proud to call them mine!! :D

Let's Jingle Bell Rock 2014

Hey guys! I just put together a little somethin' for Christmas!! It's not anything huge, but it's my way of saying Merry Christmas before I leave the blog for a while! So, have a Merry Christmas everyone! Enjoy the video!!!

VIDEO MADE BY RILEY MATTHEWS! ENJOY!!!

Merry Christmas Maya!

So, you all know that other Riley Matthews? If you haven't heard, click THIS and you'll know. She's taking my life and everything. But, she did however, give me the idea to do this. And no, I would've thought of this without her. No credit to her.

Dear Maya,
Christmas is the time of year that we are together! We spend time with each other more than ever! School isn't in the way, nothing is! We are together, just being girls. Fooling around, misbehaving, and we just get all the fun out of everything!!! I love Christmas with you, nobody else but you!!

Not only are we best friends at Christmas, we are best friends all the time! You get me into trouble, and I get us out of it! Thank you for letting me be apart of your life!

Being your best friend means that I need to learn to stay loyal and trustworthy, and I want to do that. I want to work to be the best friend I could ever be. Give me a chance to prove it. I love you so much, and I'll do this not for me, but for you. I'll give up my everything for you. Thank you for that. I can't stand when I am not with you, or when you have someone before me. I've now learned my lesson about that.

I am your best friend and I will always do my best by you. Now, I always know to do that. So please don't leave my side! I love you!!

Merry Christmas my best friend! And here on will be what I designed for you!!

Please be happy with this! These took me so long to do!!! Thanks for being the best Christmas gift ever!

Love Riley

Impersonation: Out of Hand

Hey guys! I didn't want to have to be writing something like this so close to Christmas, but I've gotta. There has been some serious impersonation going on. So, you all know I've had this blog since August, right? I've never changed the title either. Well, another Riley Matthews (me) has created a blog with the same title. She created hers this month. She is also causing people on Google+ to believe that her account is mine, and I am now gonna use that one. Like, no!!!! She is causing Maya to be with her instead of me. I'm just plain SICK of that other me stealing my life. She keeps saying she did nothing wrong. Well, she ruined my life!!! She is annoying the life outta me!!! So, everyone please be aware that she is NOT me. If you ever spot her on Google, report her for impersonation of me. Maya and I have been fine lately, and I am not dealing with that other me again!! It's near Christmas and she's gonna ruin it for me!!!!

Here are her links. These are the links of the FAKE me.

Google+ Page: GOOGLE PROFILE
Blogger: BLOGGER

So, if you ever see that blog, or if that account comments on your stuff, please be aware that she is a fake. This is the real Riley Matthews not her. She is impersonating me and stealing my stuff STRAIGHT from my account. So, this impersonation is out of hand. This stops now.

Songs Of Mine That I Think Should Go On Break

Hey guys! I think by the title, you'd know what this post is about. There are some songs of mine that used to be sooo awesome. Now, they aren't because I've tired them out. So, let me list my songs that I think should be on break. Some are on break, I just don't wanna put too many on break. Anyways, this is what I think. The ones that have the word BREAK bolded, are the ones actually on break, not the ones I think should be, in my defense.

1. Best Friends Forever by KSM (BREAK)
2. Broken Girl by Matthew West (BREAK)
3. Your Friend by Istiana Bestari
4. Potential Break-Up Song by Aly and AJ (BREAK)
5. Bullseye by Aly and AJ
6. Hero by Superchick
7. Moonlight by Yiruma
8. Missing by Evanescence
9. Nobody's Home by Avril Lavigne
10. One More by Superchick (BREAK)
11. When She Cries by Britt Nicole
12. Everytime We Touch by Cascada (BREAK)
13. In Better Hands by Fefe Dobson
14. Torniquet by Evanescence

So, those are my songs. 5/14 of those songs are actually on break. So, thanks for reading guys!!! Check back soon!

Doesn't That Mean Dead?

Sometimes, I am told by certain people what I am doing wrong. What they see me as, and it's not good. They say that I just don't have what other people have. Maybe not saying that, but that's how I take it as. I just.... I don't even know. I'm speechless. Speechless. I just can't take this through. Let me walk you through this.

Farkle was talking normally to me, when he started pointing out what I was doing wrong. How I'm not satisfied with anything or anyone, as he put it. And how I am not like everyone else, as I took it. I mean, why would Farkle Minkus make me feel this way?! He was supposed to be the good guy. He would NEVER say that to me in the episodes. I've been trying to go back to episodes, and Maya and I have been 100% fine since either Sunday or Monday.

This may not have anything to do with how Farkle made me feel tonight but it is very true. I wish that he would say that his life has changed since he met me. I wish he would just tell me those things I dreamt.

This is so how I feel about Farkle. It's on and off. Back and fourth. I'd like to leave it at off for now, but I don't know. I can't predict the future, can I? Nah, I've got a good idea of it.

And last off. This. Farkle created this himself and sent it to me. Doesn't that mean dead?! He wants me dead. He wants me out of life. He doesn't wanna see me. He may not make me die, but I'll show him. I'll show him what it's like to die inside. I'll show him how he made me feel. But still. Dead? Does he really....

I've Learned Okay?

I decided to make a post today, about how I've learned my lesson on something. I've learned, that your best friend should come before anyone else. I've learned that with a best friend, you have someone to rely on, and it feels good to be relied on, too. With a best friend, you shouldn't be jealous of anyone else being friends with your best friend because she would never betray you, unless that other person is given the title of Best Friend by your best friend. Nobody likes to be replaced, and I learned that the hard way last night. I also realized what I've been doing, and that it is wrong. And now I know my real feelings.

Very true, but let me go over this. A best friend is someone who Fights for you, through any circumstances. A best friend is someone who respects you not only as their best friend, but as a person. A best friend is someone who includes you with their other friends, or in another activity they are in, and you're not. A best friend encourages you to fight for what you believe in, and to shoot for the moon. A best friend needs you. A best friend relies on you and needs you. A best friend deserves you. Your best friend deserves you for being soo good! And a best friend will stand by you always.

This is very true, too. Especially the mistakes part. I know I've made mistakes, and Maya knows I have. But I know if she is my best friend, she will help me turn all those wrongs into rights.

Your classic best friends. They stand by each other, and I will for now on.

Now time for.... AN ORIGINAL POEM BY RILEY MATTHEWS!!! :)

When you walked out of my life
It was like my world was crashing down.
The day you walk back in
My world will fit back together like a puzzle.

The world doesn't think you are perfect
But I see it differently
The only thing I see is the beauty of you
And at this point, that's all that matters.

I miss you, best friend.
I don't know what to do.
Please come back to me
I'll try harder this time.
Let's be BFF.

That was an original poem that I wrote off the top of my head in 6 minutes. Now I wanted to say this.

This is true. I'm sorry. Please forgive me, Maya. I would hug you forever, and I mean that! I've learned my lesson, please don't be mad at me any longer. I love you.

Til The End Of Time

Hey guys. So, last night was the worst night of my life. I'll give a VERY short description. Maya is thinking that I'll be up to serving her when I am miserable about it. It's not even fair like August, I call that fair. Not now, heck no. So, Shawn last night came to settle our feud and also came with my dad. We were talking and my dad took the Loser Side and Shawn took mine. Shawn said that Maya was being pushy and way too clingy. My dad was being very hurtful to me, and I was crying so hard. Then, I went back to Kiwi, because I went to him when nobody was fighting yet. Shawn told me I'll be okay if I go to him. I went to Kiwi, and then came back 20 minutes later. We fell asleep. Now, I wanted to do relation lyrics to one of my songs by Evanescence.

I will wander 'till the end of time torn away from you.

I pull away to face the pain.
I close my eyes and drift away.


Over the fear that I will never find
A way to heal my soul.
And I will wander 'till the end of time
Torn away from you.

My heart is broken
Sweet sleep, my dark angel
Deliver us from sorrow's hold
(Over my heart... Heart)

I can't go on living this way
And I can't go back the way I came
Chained to this fear that I will never find
A way to heal my soul
And I will wander 'till the end of time
Half alive without you

My heart is broken
Sweet sleep, my dark angel
Deliver us

Change, open your eyes to the light
I denied it all so long, oh so long
Say goodbye, goodbye

My heart is broken
Release me, I can't hold on
Deliver us
My heart is broken
Sweet sleep, my dark angel
Deliver us
My heart is broken
Sweet sleep, my dark angel
Deliver us from sorrow's hold

So, those are the lyrics to My Heart Is Broken by Evanescence that I can relate to. I can highly relate to that. Now time for some quotes.

I think this is very true. I'd rather spend my days loving someone I can't have then spend my days having to be around someone I can't love anymore.

This is very true. There is nothing else I ask, so why can't I have that one thing?!

Sometimes, I need to have the courage to admit this. Why am I so focused on someone who can is the opposite of this? I'm bascially telling myself, "Be with someone who will stay mad at you, who can stand not talking to you, and who's not afraid of losing you." Why am I so focused on this?!

This is why. This is why I am so focused on this. There is no real reason, but I just can't let go! It's difficult.

That's it for today. And this is it...

War Is Over If You Want It

So, we all know that there is a song with the lyrics "War is over if you want it." Well, today I am here to relate to those lyrics. There's been sort of a friendship war between my friends and I. We've been angry with each other, it's been awkward, some of us have been upset with each other talking about certain friends and sometimes we just ignored each other. This is a 1st world war, as in, real wars are much more upsetting because people you love die and you're actually fighting for your entire country to survive. Well, this is a 1st world problem I am facing. My friends and I are in a war for friendship. We are fighting each other to beat each other down. We want to win this. But we don't want to win for our entire country, and entire people, we want to win for our own selfish ways. Now, I agree with the statement "war is over if you want it." I agree because I do think that this war can be over if we want it. This war doesn't have to continue. We can all reunite, talk it through with each other. Let me tell you something...

I once asked for advice from ElderWisdomCircle on a totally different situation than I am writing about today, but I could say the advice could work both ways. This letter was sent on August 29th, 2014 and I recieved it on September 3, 2014. This was a friendship problem. The woman replied with, "If this is a big deal to you, you should talk this out with your friends so this doesn't go on anymore. If you want this to stop, talk to them." That is what I'll do. I'll talk it out with Maya, Lucas and Farkle. I'll tell them how I feel, and I'll listen to how they feel.

So, this is what I think. War Is Over If You Want It. If I want this Friendship Feud to end, then it's done. War is over if you want it, and I want it. I want my civil war to end. This is what I think. But first, let me ask all you readers something. Do you want it?

You Couldn't Drive Me Away

Having a best friend is... wonderful. You go through everything together, it's like a magical dream (without the unicorn) oh wait.... there has been a unicorn, hasn't there? See, you go through the craziest things with your best friend. They accept you when you make a mistake, when you're mad, when you're sad. They get you through any rough situation, even if it seems like a rediculous situation that you'd assume isn't a big deal, like "OMG I lost my favorite pair of boots!" A best friend will say, "it's okay, we'll put up some missing posters" with a sense of humor, making you feel better, when you think she actually means it. (That happened to me in Grade 3, I lost my boots and my best friend suggested the missing posters as a joke).

This is me and my best friend. We sit together, we work out our problems, we pay attention to each other. There is nothing better than that! This is Maya Hart. My best friend, and the world's best, best friend. I can count on her to get me out of a rough situation, and she can count on me to get us out of trouble. Maya causes our troubles, but I get us out of it. I don't get her out of it, I don't get me out of it, I get us out.

We are polar opposites, as you can see. I am the loveable, huggable and sweet one. And she is the dark, mysterious, but very helpful to me one. We may be polar opposites, but that's what makes us such good best friends.

This is me and my best friend, Maya Hart. I couldn't ask for anybody better, because she is best at what she does!!

Not My Problem This Time

Guess what? Maya and I made up last night. I said I was willing to do what it takes to be her best friend, and she said she was too. Actually, that was a BIG FAT LIE. She said she doesn't want to lose her reputation of her and 2 other of her friends and she wanted to be with them at lunch. I said that's okay, but she KNEW I didn't mean it. She knew it. I started crying because I didn't think I was worth her's or anybody's time. I knew that I was just an embarassment. Then, Auggie came in to rescue me, and be the hero. So, I thank Auggie for that! And Auggie, if you're reading this, Thank You So Much, I Love You! Anyway, so this fight is actually Maya's problem now. It's her responsibility to fix this, because I didn't ask for this. If I apologize, it's like, for what? Then I'd say, "for letting you sit with your more popular friends than me and you can lose your reputation with me now." I really don't think that's anything to apologize about. I hope on my life that Reaction Girl is at school today, so I can sit with her. And if not, I'll sit with Sarah, because I bet she likes me better then Maya because they got in a fight. So, I'd like to say that this fight isn't my problem. I admit, the other ones (the majority of them, not all of them) were my problem to fix. Now, this one's hers. I did NOT ask for this one bit. She basically held it in my face screaming, take it take it! (Not literally). So, I'll just be on my own today, HOPEFULLY with Reaction Girl and if not, Sarah, and if not, I could get Lucas. So, that's it for today. I might write again later about my terrible lunch hour.

It's Not Much, It's Simple

Sometimes, the response that you recieve from people for saying a certain thing isn't what you wanted. It's not bad, but sometimes, you just want them to say the simplest thing, that could've made you go nuts in happiness. Sometimes, they don't know what to say, but all you wanted was something short.

Example:
This is an example of something...

WHAT YOU WANT TO HAPPEN: Someone says, I love you to someone. All they want is the other person to respond with, "I love you too"

WHAT YOU DON'T WANT TO HAPPEN: Someone says I love you to someone. They respond with, "thanks!"

So, sometimes all you have to say is something so simple to brighten them up. Or do something so simple. It's simple, just do it.

Sickening Suicides

Hey guys. It's Riley. I was at school today until lunchtime. I ran 18 suicides today, and almost puked. It was Period 2 gym. So, in History I asked my dad to call home sick. He said that he'll let me go at lunch because I should drop Auggie off, too. So, I waited til lunch. Then, I walked Auggie to school and he and I are friends again! Him and I talked about Kindergarten and Ava being bossy at recess. Then, I came home and watched Phineas and Ferb and Jessie. I am FOR SURE going tomorrow. Not because my mom said I had to, but because I want to. The good thing is, I'm missing my double math periods right now! SO YAY. So, that's my stupid suicide in gym story. I am glad that I don't have gym tomorrow... stupid fitness dice!!

My Own Little Thoughts... I Guess It's About Time You Know

Okay, for the past 3-4 months I've had a song in my playlist. No other song then song number 25. What is it? Hero by Superchick. I've kept those lyrics to myself, because I could not relate to them one bit and I liked the song in general, so there was no point. Now, I can relate to those lyrics, and it's about time I reveal them. I mean, have I ever written a post called "Hero Relation"? No. I am now.

These are the lyrics that represent me...

Chorus
Heroes are made when you make a choice
You could be a hero
Heroes do what's right
You could be a hero, You might save a life
You could be a hero, You could join the fight
For what's right for what's right for what's right

Verse 2
No one talks to her, she feels so alone
She's in too much pain to survive on her own

Verse 1, I have no relation to because the story is about a boy. So, the chorus is a relation to me too. Let me get you through it. You could be a hero, heroes do what's right. And when I saw Auggie's post about Happy Birthday Riley, I knew he was a hero who did what was right. Auggie is my hero. You might save a life, and join the fight for what's right. What's right is to stand up for people who are bullied. Today, that was me. Auggie is my hero. Auggie basically saved me. My life is a wreck, and I wanted to give up. Auggie saved my life. No one talks to her, she feels so alone. That is very true. Nobody talks to me, and I'm always alone. People just don't like me, no reason. It's been that way since I was 9. She's in too much pain to survive on her own. Honestly, I wont get myself through life like this. I can't survive on my own, and one day I wont. So, I guess it's about time you knew what those lyrics really are. Bye...

It's My Birthday... you could say

Hey guys. Today's my 13th birthday. Normally, I'd be happy about that. I'm not. People have been so mean to me at school and ignoring me. People have been treating me terribly and physically beating me down. Daniela, the nicest girl ever, told me, "Sucker, have the worst birthday" and then dropped her math textbook on my head. There is 453 pages in that thing. She dropped it on my head, and I almost threw up, it felt like that. My birthday has been a total disaster. This has not only been the worst birthday, but the worst day of my life. I could never live a worse day.

So basically unhappy birthday to me. I hated this day. I'd rather die.

This Betrayal Means 100% Done

I HATE MAYA SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO BADLY RIGHT NOW YOU HAVE NO IDEA! SHE IS THE WORST PERSON IN THE WORLD AND I AM NEVER FORGIVING HER!!!!!!!!!! SHE IS SO STUPID AND I AM CRYING BECAUSE OF THAT DIRTY STUPID GIRL. I HATE HER SO BADLY. SHE IS THE WORST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay, okay. I had to calm down. Here's the story, long story short. Maya threatened to listen to one of my songs she never heard and she almost did it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh ya, and it's not just ANY song, it was my old number 1. Best Friends Forever. Yeah! She threatened to do that! I HATE THAT GIRL SO BAD. I always thought if I tried, I could go back to normal with her and we could be okay. Now, I'm not even gonna think about trying!!!! I am never forgiving that idiot!!!!!!!!

This very true quote was made by me. This was to say, yeah, if your best friend even has the thought about betraying you, you know that they are a bad friend. I could never think of anything so true.

This is true. You can try to fix the vase, but it will never be the same. The only part that isn't true about this, is the fact of "you can fix it." This can't be fixed EVER.

Okay, this quote is the MOST true. Maya only wanted to betray me to make herself feel better. I hate her for that!!!

I hate Maya's gutt. I will NEVER EVER EVER forgive her.

I'm In Better Hands Without You

In this post, I'm going to be doing more relation lyrics. There might be a lot of relation highlighted, because my song represents me so badly; kinda like Everytime We Touch. That said, let me introduce you to my new song, In Better Hands by Fefe Dobson. It's such a good song, and I relate to it.

Here are my lyrics with the highlighed parts as the relation parts! ENJOY.

Three strikes, we tried
Now I'm in better hands
I know this may sound impolite
But I'm in better hands

Knew I had to let it be
Losing your identity
You became my shadow
Thought I'd make you understand
Drop before I got a man
Dude had to hit the road

This has become so uncool fast
Guess we weren't built to last

Three strikes, we tried
Now I'm in better hands
I know this may sound impolite
But I'm in better hands

Three strikes, we tried
You know I'm in better hands

That overall nicotine
Abs and your skinny jeans
How they always hotter than mine
You get under my skin
When you take me up there
Then I pay the bill every time

Three strikes, we tried

Now I'm in better hands
I know this may sound impolite
But I'm in better hands

Three strikes, we tried
You know I'm in better hands

Every night I lay beside you
Knew there was more for me
Found someone who's nothing like you
Hands fit perfectly

Every night I lay beside you
Knew there was more for me
Found someone who's nothing like you
Hands fit perfectly

Three strikes, we tried
Now I'm in better hands
I know this may sound impolite
But I'm in better hands

Three strikes, we tried
You know I'm in better hands

So, those were my relation lyrics. Such a relation. It gets to me. Well, thanks for reading that quickly! BYE.

The Happy, Sad Truth

You wanna know what the title is about? Farkle. The Happy, Sad Truth. Here's that.

The happy truth is that I found a song that reminds me so much of Farkle. It's such a relation to it. It makes me happy because I feel like I have power saying that. I feel like I can just scream out those words and just say it as it is.

The sad truth is that those words are so true. It's true what I'm saying. It's the truth and apart of it makes me feel bad that it wont happen again with him. It makes me feel embarassed that I think that. But how much more embarassed could I get? So, because I can't get any more embarassed, I'll post my relation lyrics here.

The song is the faster version of Everytime We Touch. I feel bad taking this song away from Auggie and Smackle, but they don't really need it. They'll live without it. I wont live without the song that I have so much relation to, it's almost scary! Like always, highlighted parts are relations.

I still hear your voice, when you sleep next to me.
I still feel your touch in my dreams.
Forgive me my weakness, but I don't know why
Without you it's hard to survive.

'Cause every time we touch, I get this feeling.
And every time we kiss, I swear I could fly.
Can't you feel my heart beat fast, I want this to last,
Need you by my side.
'Cause every time we touch, I feel this static.
And every time we kiss, I reach for the sky.
Can't you hear my heart beat so...
I can't let you go.
Want you in my life.

Your arms are my castle, your heart is my sky.
They wipe away tears that I cry.
The good and the bad times, we've been through them all.
You make me rise when I fall.

'Cause every time we touch, I get this feeling.
And every time we kiss, I swear I could fly.
Can't you feel my heart beat fast, I want this to last.
Need you by my side.
'Cause every time we touch, I feel this static.
And every time we kiss, I reach for the sky.
Can't you hear my heart beat so...
I can't let you go.
Want you in my life.

'Cause every time we touch, I get this feeling.
And every time we kiss, I swear I could fly.
Can't you feel my heart beat fast, I want this to last.
Need you by my side.

So, that is what I can relate to. Basically all of the song besides for 3 parts. The arms and the castle. I don't even get that part. The wiping away tears that I cry, is not true and the "you make me rise when I fall" is not true either. The rest of this song is such a relation. Anyway, here's my video for the song.

I've been with Lucas all night and him and I were repeating this video of this song over and over again while eating what we believe is cake. It's actually my flavorless waffles. Weird, huh? Anyway, I'm enjoying the night with him and he said it's good that I am getting my mind off of everything. Because at the beginning as soon as Auggie left with my parents to First Alliance without me, long story (I didn't wanna go because Auggie said he's going to tell Maya to tell all my friends there that I am mean) so I didn't want to spend my time being bullied. So, onc they left, I began crying SOOOO hard. I almost gave myself more cuts when I said out loud, "No, talk to someone, you'll be fine then." So, I called Lucas and said it was an emergancy that I need him. He came within 10 minutes and told me I'm fine. I told him I was about to hurt myself and he then hogged me to the computer. He searched up My Immortal by Evanescence. "Listen to this song" he said. I listened to it and I cried SOOOO hard. He then took me to Everytime We Touch and made me sing that one. I related to it, and I felt happier. I thank Lucas for making me happy. Now, he's sitting beside me with his laptop on Google+. He's watching me write this! Well, that's basically it for this night which isn't a happy, sad truth. It's a sad truth.

The Real Kiwi

I finally can actually upload a photo of my little baby boy! This is Kiwi, my little sweet hamster. He means a lot to me.

Here he is! He's on my mom's bed, and that was last night. He is lovely. That's the real Kiwi!

Nobody Will

Sometimes, the people who you thought loved you, really love somebody else more than they care about you. They tell you that there is nobody else but you. They tell you not to think that ever and not to be afraid to talk to them. Well, sometimes you should be afraid, because fear is something we can't conquer all the time. We have to learn to live with it. We have to learn that life isn't always what we expect it to be. We need to know that there are twists and turns in life.

Here's something my mother told me, today...

People are always so upset when someone meaningful walks out of their life. They feel like it's their fault and that they're not good enough without that person. But really, God is just taking them out of your life because they wont take you to where God wants you to be in life. If you stay with them, you'll never move on to what God has in store for you.

Now, I wasn't planning to do a song relation this post, but I will. I know I haven't mentioned this in a while, but I'm going to do Best Friends Forever, because it's about losing someone you love. Not to death. But to friendship. And the title "Best Friends Forver" may not mean it has to be about your best friend. It could be someone else you thought would never betray you. Like always, representation parts are highlighted.

NOTE: IN THE CHORUS, THE TERM YOU IS REFERRING TO THE PERSON YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT. IN THE PARTS THAT AREN'T THE CHORUS, THE TERM YOU IS REFERRING TO ME.

Tears you try so hard to hide,
You hold it all inside,
Pretend it doesn't matter,
Why you keep it to yourself,
When you got someone else,
You know can make it better,

You try to be so strong,
But I always know when something's wrong
See you when your feeling down,

Hey, wasn't it you who'd always be there for me?,
Don't forget what we've been through together,
Hey, isn't it true,
We promised to always be best friends forever,
Yeah.

Words, that you don't need to say,
The sad that's on your face,
Isn't hard to see through,
I've been there once or twice,
It's you that made things right,
My turn to be there for you,

You try to be so strong,
But I always know when something's wrong
See you when your feeling down,

Hey, wasn't it you who'd always be there for me?,
Don't forget what we've been through together,
Hey, isn't it true,
We promised to always be best friends forever,

When the rain comes down (I'll be there),
I will always be around,Just wanna be the one to catch you when you fall,

Hey, wasn't it you who'd always be there for me?,
Don't forget what we've been through together,
Hey, isn't it true,
We promised to always be best friends forever

That is my relation to my good old song, Best Friends Forever. I haven't listened to it since September. I'm actually listening to it right now, just to write this. I'm not sick of it at all. I honestly miss it.

The point of this post is to say, Farkle began going with Maya for NO SOLID REASON. I swear there was no reason. It made me realize that I am getting out of this thing with Farkle. Not with Maya. I'm listening to Best Friends Forever, and she's mine. So, that's not goin' anywhere. But Farkle and I, I can't see that working out. And as long as I am out of it, I wont care how much they go together unless I think he is stealing Maya from me. So, there we go, it's a done deal.

I never put quotes on my posts, so I will, today.

This is more true than anything, and I made this myself. The thing with this one, it's unknown if the hands in the background are pulling the heart apart, or putting it back together. That's all up to you.

That is true. Nobody knows how many twisted secrets are up inside my head, but I don't tell anyone because I am afraid that they wont care as much as I had always imagined them to.

This is a true statement made by me. Follow your heart, but don't be surprised when it breaks by somone you love and you thought loved you.

This is what is true to me. Truths come out, and this is the truth. Nobody cares, Nobody Will.

I'm Not Serving

I am just plain tired of STUPID MAYA. She thinks I am going to serve her!!! Yeah right! It's been unfair like this since September, when it was just me. I haven't been 100% happy since September. I am not going to serve her to get my own rights. My own rights say that it should be fair! Maya logged into all of Farkle, Auggie and those people's accounts and unfollowed my blog. Hmm, I wonder how many subscribers I have?! The only person I will EVER even consider talking to again is Farkle. The other ones of them, well, I ain't talkin' to ya! Possibly Farkle, I might. He never really did anything wrong. Oh, and Lucas! Yes, Farkle and Lucas, I will talk to. I'll let them straighten me out. Besides, nobody even knows the secrets I need to tell Farkle. Seriously! Okay, there is only one, but it's a real keeper. Literally. Don't ask, I'm not telling you blog viewers! So, I'm not serving Maya, but I will TALK to Farkle and Lucas, not serve them. But, I love them so I'll talk to them the next time I see them (out of class time). Maybe at lunch, but they'll probably be with Maya. If I see them with Maya, then I actually will quit on these people because she'll be telling them the stories of how I'm bad, and she's so innocent. SHE'S NOT! GUILTY SHE IS. So, I'll talk to Farkle & Lucas on certain circumstances.

1. When they talk to me, they don't take Maya's side.
2. They don't make me serve them.
3. They don't sit with Maya at lunch. (Maybe not me too, but not her).
4. They/He (I don't know, one of them could be mean and the other could be nice??) actually consistently stays on my side, not just for an hour and then go see Maya.

So, those are my rules if I am gonna let myself be with one of them. So, the bottom line is, I am not serving, and the only ones I am talking to are Lucas and Farkle, until things work out. That's done.