The Happy, Sad Truth

You wanna know what the title is about? Farkle. The Happy, Sad Truth. Here's that.

The happy truth is that I found a song that reminds me so much of Farkle. It's such a relation to it. It makes me happy because I feel like I have power saying that. I feel like I can just scream out those words and just say it as it is.

The sad truth is that those words are so true. It's true what I'm saying. It's the truth and apart of it makes me feel bad that it wont happen again with him. It makes me feel embarassed that I think that. But how much more embarassed could I get? So, because I can't get any more embarassed, I'll post my relation lyrics here.

The song is the faster version of Everytime We Touch. I feel bad taking this song away from Auggie and Smackle, but they don't really need it. They'll live without it. I wont live without the song that I have so much relation to, it's almost scary! Like always, highlighted parts are relations.

I still hear your voice, when you sleep next to me.
I still feel your touch in my dreams.
Forgive me my weakness, but I don't know why
Without you it's hard to survive.

'Cause every time we touch, I get this feeling.
And every time we kiss, I swear I could fly.
Can't you feel my heart beat fast, I want this to last,
Need you by my side.
'Cause every time we touch, I feel this static.
And every time we kiss, I reach for the sky.
Can't you hear my heart beat so...
I can't let you go.
Want you in my life.

Your arms are my castle, your heart is my sky.
They wipe away tears that I cry.
The good and the bad times, we've been through them all.
You make me rise when I fall.

'Cause every time we touch, I get this feeling.
And every time we kiss, I swear I could fly.
Can't you feel my heart beat fast, I want this to last.
Need you by my side.
'Cause every time we touch, I feel this static.
And every time we kiss, I reach for the sky.
Can't you hear my heart beat so...
I can't let you go.
Want you in my life.

'Cause every time we touch, I get this feeling.
And every time we kiss, I swear I could fly.
Can't you feel my heart beat fast, I want this to last.
Need you by my side.

So, that is what I can relate to. Basically all of the song besides for 3 parts. The arms and the castle. I don't even get that part. The wiping away tears that I cry, is not true and the "you make me rise when I fall" is not true either. The rest of this song is such a relation. Anyway, here's my video for the song.

I've been with Lucas all night and him and I were repeating this video of this song over and over again while eating what we believe is cake. It's actually my flavorless waffles. Weird, huh? Anyway, I'm enjoying the night with him and he said it's good that I am getting my mind off of everything. Because at the beginning as soon as Auggie left with my parents to First Alliance without me, long story (I didn't wanna go because Auggie said he's going to tell Maya to tell all my friends there that I am mean) so I didn't want to spend my time being bullied. So, onc they left, I began crying SOOOO hard. I almost gave myself more cuts when I said out loud, "No, talk to someone, you'll be fine then." So, I called Lucas and said it was an emergancy that I need him. He came within 10 minutes and told me I'm fine. I told him I was about to hurt myself and he then hogged me to the computer. He searched up My Immortal by Evanescence. "Listen to this song" he said. I listened to it and I cried SOOOO hard. He then took me to Everytime We Touch and made me sing that one. I related to it, and I felt happier. I thank Lucas for making me happy. Now, he's sitting beside me with his laptop on Google+. He's watching me write this! Well, that's basically it for this night which isn't a happy, sad truth. It's a sad truth.

The Real Kiwi

I finally can actually upload a photo of my little baby boy! This is Kiwi, my little sweet hamster. He means a lot to me.

Here he is! He's on my mom's bed, and that was last night. He is lovely. That's the real Kiwi!

Nobody Will

Sometimes, the people who you thought loved you, really love somebody else more than they care about you. They tell you that there is nobody else but you. They tell you not to think that ever and not to be afraid to talk to them. Well, sometimes you should be afraid, because fear is something we can't conquer all the time. We have to learn to live with it. We have to learn that life isn't always what we expect it to be. We need to know that there are twists and turns in life.

Here's something my mother told me, today...

People are always so upset when someone meaningful walks out of their life. They feel like it's their fault and that they're not good enough without that person. But really, God is just taking them out of your life because they wont take you to where God wants you to be in life. If you stay with them, you'll never move on to what God has in store for you.

Now, I wasn't planning to do a song relation this post, but I will. I know I haven't mentioned this in a while, but I'm going to do Best Friends Forever, because it's about losing someone you love. Not to death. But to friendship. And the title "Best Friends Forver" may not mean it has to be about your best friend. It could be someone else you thought would never betray you. Like always, representation parts are highlighted.

NOTE: IN THE CHORUS, THE TERM YOU IS REFERRING TO THE PERSON YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT. IN THE PARTS THAT AREN'T THE CHORUS, THE TERM YOU IS REFERRING TO ME.

Tears you try so hard to hide,
You hold it all inside,
Pretend it doesn't matter,
Why you keep it to yourself,
When you got someone else,
You know can make it better,

You try to be so strong,
But I always know when something's wrong
See you when your feeling down,

Hey, wasn't it you who'd always be there for me?,
Don't forget what we've been through together,
Hey, isn't it true,
We promised to always be best friends forever,
Yeah.

Words, that you don't need to say,
The sad that's on your face,
Isn't hard to see through,
I've been there once or twice,
It's you that made things right,
My turn to be there for you,

You try to be so strong,
But I always know when something's wrong
See you when your feeling down,

Hey, wasn't it you who'd always be there for me?,
Don't forget what we've been through together,
Hey, isn't it true,
We promised to always be best friends forever,

When the rain comes down (I'll be there),
I will always be around,Just wanna be the one to catch you when you fall,

Hey, wasn't it you who'd always be there for me?,
Don't forget what we've been through together,
Hey, isn't it true,
We promised to always be best friends forever

That is my relation to my good old song, Best Friends Forever. I haven't listened to it since September. I'm actually listening to it right now, just to write this. I'm not sick of it at all. I honestly miss it.

The point of this post is to say, Farkle began going with Maya for NO SOLID REASON. I swear there was no reason. It made me realize that I am getting out of this thing with Farkle. Not with Maya. I'm listening to Best Friends Forever, and she's mine. So, that's not goin' anywhere. But Farkle and I, I can't see that working out. And as long as I am out of it, I wont care how much they go together unless I think he is stealing Maya from me. So, there we go, it's a done deal.

I never put quotes on my posts, so I will, today.

This is more true than anything, and I made this myself. The thing with this one, it's unknown if the hands in the background are pulling the heart apart, or putting it back together. That's all up to you.

That is true. Nobody knows how many twisted secrets are up inside my head, but I don't tell anyone because I am afraid that they wont care as much as I had always imagined them to.

This is a true statement made by me. Follow your heart, but don't be surprised when it breaks by somone you love and you thought loved you.

This is what is true to me. Truths come out, and this is the truth. Nobody cares, Nobody Will.

I'm Not Serving

I am just plain tired of STUPID MAYA. She thinks I am going to serve her!!! Yeah right! It's been unfair like this since September, when it was just me. I haven't been 100% happy since September. I am not going to serve her to get my own rights. My own rights say that it should be fair! Maya logged into all of Farkle, Auggie and those people's accounts and unfollowed my blog. Hmm, I wonder how many subscribers I have?! The only person I will EVER even consider talking to again is Farkle. The other ones of them, well, I ain't talkin' to ya! Possibly Farkle, I might. He never really did anything wrong. Oh, and Lucas! Yes, Farkle and Lucas, I will talk to. I'll let them straighten me out. Besides, nobody even knows the secrets I need to tell Farkle. Seriously! Okay, there is only one, but it's a real keeper. Literally. Don't ask, I'm not telling you blog viewers! So, I'm not serving Maya, but I will TALK to Farkle and Lucas, not serve them. But, I love them so I'll talk to them the next time I see them (out of class time). Maybe at lunch, but they'll probably be with Maya. If I see them with Maya, then I actually will quit on these people because she'll be telling them the stories of how I'm bad, and she's so innocent. SHE'S NOT! GUILTY SHE IS. So, I'll talk to Farkle & Lucas on certain circumstances.

1. When they talk to me, they don't take Maya's side.
2. They don't make me serve them.
3. They don't sit with Maya at lunch. (Maybe not me too, but not her).
4. They/He (I don't know, one of them could be mean and the other could be nice??) actually consistently stays on my side, not just for an hour and then go see Maya.

So, those are my rules if I am gonna let myself be with one of them. So, the bottom line is, I am not serving, and the only ones I am talking to are Lucas and Farkle, until things work out. That's done.

Those Damaged Goods

Okay, I have some creepy stuff to say. Not creepy like.... monster creepy. But coincidence creepy. Okay, so my song Broken Girl by Matthew West says this, "Those damaged goods you see, in your reflection." The first part about the damaged goods is what gets the better of me. I searched up sexual assault side effects to see if I was different. I was, honestly. But, one of the side effects was "the feeling of having 'damaged goods'" It put a quotation on damaged goods, meaning it came from somewhere which is MY SONG! Shocking right? Okay, thats it! Gotta go do somethin', bye!

What He Does

So, last night was a little bit unbelievable, and that's on Lucas' half. Okay, so last night like always, Maya-Farkle. That ring a bell? So, Lucas took me up to the top bunk. I was sad and crying badly to myself. So, Lucas told me to calm down. I didn't know how to. He said he could help me, and then I thought of Farkle and said no. Then, Lucas said something that shocks me. He told me to wait on the bed and he was going to get something for me. For a second I thought it was Kiwi until he began shuffling jewelry and hair pins around on the shelf. He came with a bobby pin. He ripped the plastic top off, which covers the sharp parts. He gave it to me. "I can't believe I'm letting you do this." He said. "Just scrape yourself and it will make you think of that instead of Farkle and Maya and whatever is going on." He handed me the bobby pin. "Your letting me do this?" I asked. "I'll get hurt." He said not to worry and I'll be fine. So, I scraped my tiny little hand with the pin. I scraped my shoulder. He took to pin. "I can't let you do this." He said. He tossed it off of the bed and it hit the tv. Then, we decided to form a jealousy plan over Farkle and Maya. We pretended to do what I do with Farkle and what he did with Maya. So, we did that. Then my fake girly noises were getting on his nerves and and he kicked me off the. So, Lucas stayed alone up there. I was crying. Farkle came and grabbed me and hugged me he took me up on the normal bed. Then, Lucas came down and said sorry. We all were ok. I believe I must've done something stupid, so Farkle began to yell at me. I cried and tried to stay away from him. He said he didn't do anything. I told myself in my head that I was stupid.  I got up and grabbed a new pin, broke it, and broke myself. I scraped my little hand, quietly to myself. I decided to stop. "Why are you mad at me?!" Farkle asked, obviously annoyed. "You were yelling at me." I said. "What..." Farkle said shocked, but drifting away. "You yelled at me." I said again. "Riley I... I didn't know." He said. He apologized. Then, everybody was ok again. Remember the Boys and Girls Challenge? So, we basically did that again. The boys battled of who could get the most girly noises out of the girls. Maya took Lucas' side, I took their side. Lucas had to do it to Maya. I took their side because I didn't believe Farkle could do it with me. So, then we all went to sleep. I woke up the next morning. Not a mark was left on my hand or shoulder, only the ones on my wrist and arms from Matthew West. And that is what Lucas did last night. He told me to hurt myself, he was mean to Maya. He's not like that. Or... or is he?

When She Cries

So, after going out for dinner with my family (and annoyingly miserable Maya), I realized that there is a song that represents me. It really represents me. It is called When She Cries by Britt Nicole. It represents my Matthew West situation.

So, here is my official lyric video for When She Cries. I have the relation lyrics, so here they are. It will be highlighted in green if it is a representation, bolded black is not.

Little girl terrified
She'd leave her room if only bruises would heal
A home is no place to hide
Her heart is breaking from the pain that she feels

[CHORUS]
Every day's the same
She fights to find her way
She hurts, she breaks, she hides, and tries to pray
She wonders why, does anyone ever hear her when she cries
[ Lyrics from: http://www.lyricsty.com/britt-nicole-when-she-cries-lyrics.html ]
Today she's turning sixteen
Everyone singing, but she can't seem to smile
They never get past arms length
How could they act like everything is alright?
She's pulling down her long sleeves
To cover all the memories that scars leave
She says, "maybe making me bleed 
will be the answer that could wash the slate clean"

[CHORUS]

Every day's the same
She fights to find her way
She hurts, she breaks, she hides, and tries to pray
She wonders why, does anyone ever hear her when she cries
[ Lyrics from: http://www.lyricsty.com/britt-nicole-when-she-cries-lyrics.html ]
Today she's turning sixteen
Everyone singing, but she can't seem to smile
They never get past arms length
How could they act like everything is alright?
She's pulling down her long sleeves
To cover all the memories that scars leave
She says, "maybe making me bleed 
will be the answer that could wash the slate clean"

(BRIDGE)
This is the dark before the dawn
The storm before the peace
Don't be afraid 'cause seasons change and
God is watching over you
He hears you

Every day's the same
She fights to find her way
She hurts, she breaks, she hides, and tries to pray
She'll be just fine, cause I know he hears her when she cries

Every day's the same
She fights to find her way
She hurts, she breaks, she hides, and tries to pray
She'll be just fine, cause now he hears her when she cries
She'll be just fine, cause now he hears her when she cries 

That was my relation lyrics from When She Cries. Thanks for reading.

Cake, Uncle Dion, Dinner!

I am so happy! My Uncle Dion wasn't supposed to end up coming today because of the roads, but it turns out he will be on his way at 3:00pm! I'm excited! We are getting a cake and he'll take us out for dinner. I'm really excited! I wonder where we'll go for dinner. I get to choose! My mom said. I do however know where I am getting cake! Dairy Queen! I'm so happy!!!!

This is a Dairy Queen Cake! I made the cake match the theme of my blog! Cool huh? Okay, wish me fun on this great event!

All These Little Things

So, the boys finally came back... yay.... (not) while Maya and I were playing Just Dance 2014 on my Wii. They came and watched us. Maya was obsessed with her red pyjamas when I said I'd cough on her. Weird. So, then we reverted to Just Dance 4 and I was obsessed with the girls on there dancing sexually. Everyone was wondering why. Why? Well because they actually were dancing sexually. The boys were cheering us on and it was kinda fun, I'd say. So, at the end when we were finished, I walked back from the kitchen. "Are you okay?" Farkle asked me. "Yeah, I'm fine." I said. I was acting weird apparently. Maya made a comment while we were playing about the Brooklyn-Connor thing, which I think I only mentioned on pages, which if you actually had access to them, you'd know. We stood there for a few seconds, and as I walked to go put the Wii remotes away, I lightly banged into his shoulder, and he grabbed onto me and hugged me. Slowly, I hugged Farkle back. We hugged each other tighter each second, not to the point we had to use much effort. "It's okay." He said. I put my head into his shoulder. "It's okay" he repeated. We let go and I went to the remotes to put them away into the Wii remote bin. I went upstairs and while Maya showered, Kiwi and I were in there too. I was thinking, "Wow, these little things can change a person." Than, Kiwi and I left, he's in his cage, and I am now here! That's it! Return to read more soon on Take On The World! Bye!

Beauty's Relation

I know that I removed the song Beauty From Pain by Superchick, but apart of me still relates to it. So, I'm going to put up the lyrics and highlight the relation lines.

The lights go out all around me
One last candle to keep out the night
And then the darkness surrounds me
I know I'm alive but I feel like I've died
And all that's left is to accept that it's over
My dreams ran like sand through the fists that i made
I try to keep warm but i just grow colder
I feel like i'm slipping away

After all this has passed, I still will remain
After I've cried my last, there'll be beauty from pain
Though it won't be today,
Someday i'll hope again
And there'll be beauty from pain
You will bring beauty from my pain

My whole world is the pain inside me
The best I can do is just get through the dayWhen life before is only a memory
I'll wonder why God lets me walk through this place
And though I can't understand why this happenedI know that I will when I look back someday
And see how you've brought beauty from ashes
And made me as gold purified through these flames

After all this has passed, I still will remain
After I've cried my last, there'll be beauty from pain
Though it won't be today,
Someday i'll hope again
And there'll be beauty from pain
You will bring beauty from my pain

Here I am, at the end of me
Tryin to hold to what I can't see
I forgot how to hope
This night's been so long
I cling to Your promise
There will be a dawn


After all this has passed, I still will remain
After I've cried my last, there'll be beauty from pain 
Though it won't be today,
Someday I'll hope again
And there'll be beauty from pain
You will bring beauty from my pain

That's it. That's the lyrics and the relation.

Courage Lines

One of the lyrics from my new song say "face the 99" which means that there were 100 steps of getting out of something bad, and once she takes one step, she can face the 99. Basically the meaning of the song is a girl is in a bad situation, any bad sort of situation, and she feels like she will never get out. Voices in her head and people keep on telling her that there are 100 steps of getting out and once you take 1, you can face the 99. So, once you take 1 step you can face the next 99 steps of getting out. The exact lyric is, "If I can overcome step one, I can face the 99." Another line of courage says, "They think that I am staying down, but I'm not giving up tonight." So, people think that they got you down and that your fully down in the situation, but you won't give up. You'll show them up and beat the game. The next line of courage is, "I am stronger than my fears. Got 100 steps to go, tonight I'll make it 99." It says that you're stronger than your fears, and that is true. Overcome your fears, and be stronger. It says that tonight you'll make it 99, not another time, tonight is time. Now is time to overcome step 1. The last line of courage is, "I have everything to lose by not getting up to fight." If you don't get up to fight, you'll only be pushed down and defeated, and this is in any situation, not just mine. Those are my lines of courage from my song! Please don't listen to it just to know more of these lyrics, because they seem very encouraging. Don't even search them up, they're on my blog post if you scroll down. So, don't listen or do any purposeful research about my song. I am just saying! I hope I gave you more courage to stand up.

One More Relation

My new song is called One More by Superchic(k). I already have Hero by Superchic(k). I can relate to it, so here is my relation lyrics to it... PS, the highlighted parts are the relation lines.

It feels like I have lost this fight
They think that I am staying down
But I'm not giving up tonight
Tonight the wall is coming down
I am stronger than my fears
This is the mountain that I climb
Got 100 steps to go
Tonight I'll make it 99

Chorus
One more
Go one more
Yeah, yeah
Don't stop now
Go one more
Yeah, yeah
One more

Go one more
Go one more
Yeah, yeah

I have everything to lose
By not getting up to fight
I might get used to giving up
So I am showing up tonight
I am my own enemy
The battle fought within my mind
If I can overcome step one
I can face the 99

One more
Go one more
Yeah, yeah
Don't stop now 
Go one more
Yeah,Yeah

Chorus
Go one more
Go one more
yeah, yeah

CHORUS REPEAT X2

Mainly the parts that aren't the chorus were what I could relate to in this song. Thanks for reading! This will be the last post until my friend Hayley who is 8 years old coming all the way from Kelowna will arrive! I'M EXCITED! Bye guys!

October 14, Should I Publish It?

So, I made a very long blog page about what happened to me on October 14, 2014 and it was really creepy. I was crying all the time and it was very creepy. Some of it was inspired by the fanfiction story I read called Ordinary Day about me. It reminded me, "Oh yeah, that exact thing happened to me in real life too." So, who thinks I should post it? Comment below!

It's Okay... Is It?

Last night, it was Maya, Farkle and I sleeping over because Lucas was in the hospital for getting hurt in gym class with Maya, who freaked out. So, it was me and them. I was REALLY sad. I don't know why, but silently I cried SOOO hard to myself. Maya told a story about thinking her reading teacher Miss Baker was the foods and fashion teacher only because her name is Miss Baker. Everyone laughed. Then, Farkle and I began talking and hugging each other when I was clearly crying. Then he said something that made me feel ten times better than anything. He was rubbing me and said, "You're so smooth..." as he went over a scratch on me. I thought, "Really? I am there?" And then that voice in my head came out, "long time no see!" she said. "Yeah, really, there. He doesn't mean physically, or maybe he didn't notice." "He did. He knows." I said. "Oh, well then, he just cares." She said fading off when Farkle grabbed me again, mainly because I got caught up in Farkle that she disappeared from my mind. Than, Lucas came. Everyone was talking, and he fell asleep. Then, I was crying and Farkle seemed very annoyed. He said I was crying for no reason. I wasn't. I was crying because he was annoyed of me and so worried for Maya. And hey Maya, how would that feel on the other shoe, huh!?! Then, I woke Lucas up who took my side and took me to the top bunk, Auggie's bed. 45 minutes to an hour later, I woke up with a severe leg pain. I sat for a second and then woke Lucas up."What?" He said. "My leg hurts." I said. "Growing pains?" He asked. "No, it really hurts!" He said it's okay and then I began to wish Farkle was here. I knew that if he knew and was there, he'd say it's okay, and it'd be okay....

A Meaning to Me

I have a new song. The real meaning of the song means NOTHING to me WHATSOEVER. It is called Nobody's Home by Avril Lavigne. I kinda have my own meaning for it. It reminds me of something else than the real song is based on. Actually, the real meaning is this: A girl has a friend who has problems in her life, and she wants to fix them but it feels hopeless. That's not my meaning for it, it's just the real one. Okay, here's the lyrics, highlighted with the representation for me.
PS, THE SHE IN THE SONG IS BASICALLY ME

Well, I couldn't tell you
Why she felt that way
She felt it every day

And I couldn't help her
I just watched her make
The same mistakes again

What's wrong, what's wrong now?
Too many, too many problems
Don't know where she belongs
Where she belongs

(Chorus)

She wants to go home
But nobody's home
That's where she lies
Broken inside

With no place to go
No place to go
To dry her eyes
Broken inside

Open your eyes
And look outside
Find the reasons why

You've been rejected
And now you can't find
What you've left behind

Be strong, be strong now
Too many, too many problems
Don't know where she belongs
Where she belongs

(Chorus)

She wants to go home
But nobody's home
That's where she lies
Broken inside

With no place to go
No place to go
To dry her eyes
Broken inside

BRIDGE

Her feelings she hides
Her dreams she can't find
She's losing her mind
She's falling behind

She can't find her place
She's losing her faith
She's falling from grace
She's all over the place, yeah

(Chorus)

She wants to go home
But nobody's home
That's where she lies
Broken inside

With no place to go
No place to go
To dry her eyes
Broken inside

She's lost inside, lost inside
Oh oh
She's lost inside, lost inside
Oh oh, oh

That's it! Nobody's Home. So, ha to Bailey, that song is not about what she thought it was. The true meaning is up there! Besides, I can kinda relate to the real meaning, just not as much as my own personal meaning.

This is the video for it. The video in my playlist. Wish me luck with this new song!

Fast Loose

My hamster Kiwi is still at home with me. I just wanted to let you know that he's not gone. So, he's been doing great lately, infact he has a personality! He's super fast and jumpy. He's also very adventerous. He nibbles a whole awful lot and only bit twice. Frenquelly, I am the one he bit both times, and he clearly likes me best. He is also desperate beyond all measures for food. He is in love with food. It's crazy! Kiwi also hates kiwis. Kiwi likes Maya but hates my mother. It's funny!! He also talks in hamster squeak form a little bit. He doesn't talk much, so he is shy when it comes to talking, but when he does talk he is extremely loud and I could say he talks for a while too. I'm very glad I saved his life. I wouldn't be where I am now without him. He changed me. And I'm doing great with him!

This is basically EXACTLY how Kiwi looks. It's not him, but I have none of him uploaded, sorry! But, he also has those big black-brown eyes and those black ears. That's also his size. He is orange with one white stripe. That's really something, huh! Just like my boy that other boy is! Maybe they're related? Fun thoughts! Well, this is my Kiwi, and this is my life.