The Pretty Good Singer

I'd like to share a video of me singing when I was 11 years old. This was last year. I am actually decent here. I've been pretty bad on the majority of my songs. On one of them I actually said in the video, "Oops I messed up" but I think this is pretty decent.

There it is. I am actually quite decent. I have a nice voice here. Not on Adele or ANYTHING else. Otherwise I rock! Thank you!

Back the Overprotective

2 songs that are back insanely very overprotective...

Tears you try so hard to hide, 
You hold it all inside, 
Pretend it doesn't matter, 
Why you keep it to yourself, 
When you got someone else, 
You know can make it better, 

You try to be so strong, 
But I always know when something's wrong
See you when your feeling down, 

Hey, wasn't it you who'd always be there for me?, 
Don't forget what we've been through together, 
Hey, isn't it true, 
We promised to always be best friends forever, 
Yeah.

Words, that you don't need to say, 
The sad that's on your face, 
Isn't hard to see through, 
I've been there once or twice, 
It's you that made things right, 
My turn to be there for you, 

You try to be so strong, 
But I always know when something's wrong
See you when your feeling down, 

Hey, wasn't it you who'd always be there for me?, 
Don't forget what we've been through together, 
Hey, isn't it true, 
We promised to always be best friends forever, 

When the rain comes down (I'll be there), 
I will always be around, 
Just wanna be the one to catch you when you fall, 

Hey, wasn't it you who'd always be there for me?, 
Don't forget what we've been through together, 
Hey, isn't it true, 
We promised to always be best friends forever

I think it is obvious that this is Best Friends Forever.

Here's the next which is also VERY obvious...

Look what he's done to you, it isnt fair
Your light was bright and new, he didnt care


He took the heart of a little girl and made it grow up too fast.

Now words like innosence dont mean a thing
You hear the music play but you cant sing
Those pictures in your mind keep you locked up inside your past

This is a song for the broken girl, 
The one pused aside by the cold, cold world 
You are
Hear me when I say!
Your not the worthless they made you feel
There is a love they can never steal away
You dont have to stay a broken girl!

Those damaged goods you see, in your refelection
Love sees them differently,love sses perfection

This is a song for the broken girl 
The one pushed aside by the cold, cold world 
You are
Hear me when I say!
Your not the worthless they made you feel
There is a love they can never steal away
You dont have to stay a broken girl 

Let your tears, touch the ground
Lay all your shattered pieces down
And be amazed by how grace can take a broken girl
and put her back together again

This is a song for the broken girl
The one pushed aside by the cold, cold world
You are
Hear me when i say!
Your not the worthless they made you feel
There is a love they can never steal away
You dont have to stay the broken girl! 

Broken Girl- Matthew West and Best Friends Forever- KSM

Two songs of the same generation of Riley Matthews! playlist. Both songs from August 2014. Songs number 10 and 11 in Riley Matthews! playlist.

These songs have proudly and riskly along the way, been moved up to songs number 3 and 4 in the playlist and the 2 most protective.

The Concerns of a Friend

I haven't seen Farkle since Period 7 and it's after school. We had reading. After failing both those tests, he's been pretty down. I wrote on my blog in 6th period, in science and he just leaned his downy dumps head on me. I felt very bad for him enough to let him stay. Harry, the kid who normally sits beside me, wasn't here, so Farkle insisted he did. Actually, he just assumed he could. And he can any time. In 7th period, we had the councillor as our reading teacher. He asked Mr. Crossley, the teacher, to go and see Miss Glass. I had my head caught up in my half a page chapter book. I didn't notice he went to see Miss Glass, the other councillor. He didn't show up to any of the other classes, as he was speaking with the councillor. I have been concerned and very deeply worried for Farkle all day, since he failed those 2 tests within the same 2 periods in a row. Maybe something has gotten him down and stopping his focus. I am very concerned for him right now. I'm gonna find a way to get this out of him. Maybe I'll do the same thing I did in Flaws! Haha! No, I'll find out one way or another. This is my friend I am talking about. I am very concerned for him. There will be a way for him out of this. If I have to, I'll help him find it.

The First Time Hurts

First period today, my class had gym. We had to run the beep test. The average grade 7 girl of my class made it to 3/9 and I made it to 4/7. It should have been 4/9 but the teachers said it didn't count? Maybe I didn't quite reach the line. So, at 1/4, Farkle dropped out with a 10%. When he came to me, he said he got 1/4 and was the first out. Somehow, he was happy. I didn't say anything. Then I just blurted out, "You failed." "W-What?" He said. "That's like 10 percent, Farkle." I said. I put both my hands on his shoulders to set him straight. "Look at me." I said. Farkle looked me right in the eyes. "You failed." "B-But..." He said. I let go of him. "There's always next time. Don't worry, your mark is only based on if you try." I said taking him to tell Miss Walz his grade. He said 1/4 and she gave him below 20%, that's for sure. "Okay." He said sounding fine. He walked away tall and proud. "You're actually okay?" I asked him. "Yeah, why wouldn't I be? It's just a fail..." Farkle said drifting off. He sighed and sat down. "No, you're not okay. What's the matter?" I asked sitting beside him. "I failed the test, Riley. Do you know what it feels like to fail for the first time?" He asked. "I don't remember. I was 7." I said. "We all fail, Farkle. Your dad failed something, remember? Come on, accept this just once, and move on. Besides, it's not like you failed anything else." I said. I spoke wrong. We went to L.A. and got our tests back. They were out of 10. Farkle got a 4. He just slumped down in his desk. "Again? What's wrong?" I asked. L.A. was right after gym. "4/10, Riley. 4! I failed again!" He said. I was shocked. I went over to his desk and put my hand on his shoulder. "You're okay. You've got this next one in the bag." I said. So, we had a math unit test next. Farkle finished in 5 minutes, 25 questions. I'd assume he did well. Let's just hope. The first time hurts, I feel his pain. Poor little Farkle. I'll make sure he's okay, though.

A Frightening Thought

I have two things to say. Both of them aren't based on each other. So, first one is, last night I was listening to Best Friends Forever on my DS and I had no headphones. I knew that by turning it way down, still would be a risk. So, I was tired and I wanted to turn off my DS. I went to turn the volume down and when I opened the DS, Best Friends Forever was cranked up so loud. I tried to close the DS, but my doll, Becky's hair got caught in it. I finally closed it. I was sitting there breathing SO hard. I said, "Nobody heard it. Nobody heard it. Nobody heard it. Nobody heard it" over and over to myself. Maya sat up and asked what it was. I struggled to get out Best Friends Forever. I began crying because it is now something people have heard even 1 second of. Broken Girl, nobody has heard 1 second.

The next thing is about muffins episode also known as Crazy Hat. I saw that they had it uploaded on Childstarlets because it aired on Disney. I clicked it, and the photos were unclickable (thankful). This one photo did catch my eye. Farkle and I were terribly close. We both were just staring at each other, facing each other. It freaked me out because well... WELL! I don't even think I have to say why it freaked me out! It's obvious!! Well, those are 2 frightening thoughts here on Take On The World. I hate saying that those are my thoughts. Also, I had admitting something. I'd rather the second one be true. I'd rather be with Farkle like that (which I will (ick!)) than have Best Friends Forever go public like that. Besides, somebody told me that friendship was more important. And, maybe Best Friends Forever isn't the only reason for Farkle. He's my friend and I will always be there. For my friends, I will always be there. So, that's it for VERY frightening thoughts.

Girl Meets Talented

Last night, I invited Smackle over for a sleepover with Maya, Lucas, Auggie, Farkle and I. She came to help me and Farkle do dolly hair while Auggie and Maya navigated wikia for more photos for Maya's DS. So, I was fired from being in Farkle's business. After Maya threatened him, he apologized to me, and it was very sweet. Then, we were going to bed upstairs and I was upset. Maya was spending a lot of time with Isadora Smackle (had to say full name, came naturally). It was like they were best friends. I sat down on the bed and I was upset. Everyone told Farkle to talk to me, so he did. He came and sat with me, "You okay?" He asked. I shook my head, and leaned it on him. Finally, I layed down beside him, and he still sat there. Both of us fell asleep like that. Than we woke up to Maya, Smackle, and Auggie wanting us to watch Auggie and Smackle perform Everytime We Touch by Cascada for us. I knew Smackle would be no good, and Auggie was only 5, so I was prepared to have my ears hurt. Auggie begun the song and it was pretty well done for a five year old. Smackle then came in, and it was so shocking. She had real talent. It was shocking to see her sing like that. It wasn't just that one line, she was amazing at all the parts of the song. It turns out, Smackle has more talent than just smarts. She's really quite talented.

Flaws

Girl Meets World Episode Girl Meets Flaws will air on October 24th 2014. Farkle is bullied in school and we try to find out who did it. That is the flaw of the episode. Or is it?

Farkle doesn't show up to class, and he changes himself not to be Farkle. I am sitting in my desk when my dad says life gives you opportunities. I looked back and saw Farkle's desk empty, without him. I missed him (says wikia). So, I stood up and said "May I be excused?" "Why?" Or something my dad said. "The world has given me an opportunity" I said and I walked out. Then, the flaws come in. Just watch this clip...

As you can see, I hug Farkle, randomly. That is not like episodes me. I wouldn't do that. Well, apparently I would. That's who I am in that episode. I don't understand why I'd do that now, but then, I'll know. I can kind of see why. Farkle looks so upset in that scene. He really does. I feel kinda bad for him. Well, there are flaws in that episode. If I am with Farkle basically this whole episode (I've seen photos of us together), than who is Maya stuck with? :D Well, there are flaws. Girl Meets Flaws. Couldn't have titled it better myself.

Sleepover Bash

I've decided to make up with Maya, and I am now talking again. I wasn't a mistake, and that's amazing. So, last night Maya and I had a sleepover. We watched The Trollz movie from when we were very little. Than, after the movie we were going to do nails, but there wasn't enough, and the white one was goopy.  So, then we decided to have a doll pageant. My doll looked a lot like me, like an american girl doll, but I named her Topanga. She was very beautiful, inside and out. Maya had 2 dolls, smaller than mine. The first had brown eyes and brown hair, so she named her Riley. The second one had blonde hair and blue eyes, and she named it Maya. Riley Doll and Topanga Doll competed. Topanga and Riley were dressed very nicely. Topanga Doll and I fought for beauty is not skin deep, and Maya and Riley Doll fought for it being skin deep. Nobody won. Maya sat in the crowd. Riley Doll and Stacey (which was the real Maya in the game) didn't treat her well. They left out poor Maya. I helped Maya. In my opinion, Maya won the pageant. Then, we went right back to sleep. That was our sleepover.

Don't Say Another Word

I've been through this life of greatness. My wishes came true and everything. Now, I've lost my best friend. I try to make suttle conversations with her, and they end in a fight and me, trying to walk away. Maya made the right decision in not saying anything at all. I realized, if I don't talk, then nobody can get to me. I can't be offended or disappointed. Nobody can tell me to stop talking. If I don't talk, than nobody can tell me that talking is an issue. Sometimes, there are things I wanna say, but I cannot say them because I'll be made a fool out of. Random people walk by me and call me a retard. I said something wrong, clearly. My physical actions are never a problem. I walk, move, and run like a normal person. I don't say things everyone says. I didn't do as in make any physical movement to make Brooklyn, Connor and them wanna hurt me. I said things like, "I want to go home." That's why they just kept hurting me more. Connor even said it, "We've dealt with many people in your situation. Out of all of them, you talk back the most and you have gut to do that. None of those other people did. How do you live with yourself?" How do I? I talk. I am a normal person who talks. Well, to me. To everyone else, clearly I am a person who only has dumb things to say. 

I can no longer say a word. I wont say a word. I don't talk anymore. What will it take to talk again? I wont do it on my own. I just don't talk. I just don't. As long as I don't say another word, nobody can prove me wrong.

Why Do They Follow Me?

So, you know how I've been with Farkle for the past days? Yeah, apparently episode 10, 13, or 17, whatever that episode is is following me!! Yeah, they make me go with Farkle! You wont even believe what episode! Girl Meets Flaws! The one Farkle skips class! WHAT!?! Hear me out, WHAT!!! I never thought they'd do that. I'm.... shocked. Completely shocked right now. M-Me and F-Farkle. In that episode. Oh great. This seriously sucks gut. I am gonna be with Farkle. I end up hugging him. By the looks of it, it will be longer than the one in Girl Meets Smackle. LONGER! NO! It will also be for a better cause. I mean, I wont be being funny and fooling around, he'll be upset, I'll be upset. Wikia said I missed him. Clearly, I wouldn't fool off.

This is just one of those pictures, before the hugging scene. At least it doesn't get worse than that.... I-It doesn't get worse than that, right? Oh boy. Let's just hope this doesn't become worse than it needs to be. Just as I say to myself that I wont go with Farkle anymore, there comes us hugging. Why are the episodes following me?! Shouldn't I be following them, not them following me?!

This is where Demi Lovato's Heart Attack comes in. The song saying "I think I'd have a heart-attack." Yeah, I think I will. Do you even know how terrified I am? Coincidence it happened in Girl Meets Smackle, and then again. Directors don't do things for no reason. They seriously meausure character's arm length when they hug someone. Clearly, a hug would mean something. Why are they giving hints for that? We hug twice, proof right there. Well, if you don't believe me, then just go to the Girl Meets Flaws wikia, and there you'll have it.

Let me leave off by saying this, my life is completely over. Me and Farkle!!! What!?! Wait... hahahahahah!!! No matter what happens, I'll end up with someone. If I end up with Lucas, Maya will get Farkle, if I end up with Farkle, Maya'll get Lucas. Ha! Not so bad after all!

The Songs That Stop Now

I've decided that if I am not talking, I should get my words out on here. I here by declare that until October 3rd 2014, that I will not be listening to Broken Girl and Best Friends Forever. I am still a little bit sick of them. But, I do have a new song, Cascada- Miracle (slow version). Apparently, the first line is "Boy meets girl" which drew me back to (blagh) episode Girl Meets Boy. Don't ask why the blagh was there. So, wish me luck because I love those songs. Miracle isn't even all that great. I am doing this because I listened to them, and I still don't react the same to the best parts. So, yeah. B-Bye...

Not Really What I Meant

I know that maybe I went too far with Maya. I never meant to say her mom was right about her. EVER. Also, when I said I didn't wanna be her friend, I just didn't wanna look desperate. I really didn't. That's all it was. She fingered me in the library, seriously. That's kinda unforgiveable.

I just remember those times we had. Those times I call over. We'll never get those back. Thanks for me, my outer-family is visiting us so maybe they'll help get my mind off of this fight. Let's just hope!

Friendship Is Not A Hostile Thing, Or Is It?

Maya is being overdramatic. I said I was bored and I am sick of my songs, it's true. Then she suspected I wanted hers. In what interest of mine would it be to have her song!?! Seriously, clue in!! If you found it, I should know it's not that good, I mean, come on. She just is so hostile. I don't want to have whatever she thinks it is in life. I want something at least. My head has been planning out the perfect life, she's in it. But, hey! She's not the only one in it! I am here to, I should be happy. I am tired of feeling like she is being so hostile. She's making me wanna leave more. When you have access to something (not my past if your wondering) you feel you don't need it, and if you don't, you want it badly. I wish I just had a life worth living. Again, it's sad that my life lyes on Farkle. And, by the end of this all, he'll be on her side, and leaving me to cry on that dumb Auggie bed. It's all gonna play out in certain steps.

Step 1. I lose my friendship with Maya
Step 2. All I have is Farkle
Step 3. Farkle takes Maya's side (followed by Lucas)
Step 4. We go to bed while I'm on the Auggie bed and they all leave me to cry
Step 5. They come apologizing and it's sure not sincere
Step 6. I don't forgive them
Step 7. I wake up to my next miserable day.

Hold that thought. I have some repairs to do...


Step 1. I lose my friendship with Maya
Step 2. All I have is Farkle
Step 3. Farkle takes Maya's side (followed by Lucas)
Step 4. We go to bed while I'm on the Auggie bed and they all leave me to cry
Step 5. They come apologizing they don't do anything, and duh it's sure not sincere
Step 6. I don't forgive them I don't forgive them because they never said sorry
Step 7. I wake up to my next miserable day.

Better. Moving on from that. Seriously, Maya is hostile. I told her I am not her friend because no friend is so hostile. Why can't I have what I want? I have it all planned out in my head, but it's not gonna happen because of Little Miss Hostile. She wont get it. I am tired of feeling hostile every day. My days, they aint good! It was decent today because all I did was plan out my perfect life in my head. It seemed like I basically lived it. I am not taking a hostile friendship. What friend does that? No friend does. A fake friend is hostile. Not a true one.

Friends are made to only be broken... it seems. It seems that way to me. I made friends with Maya, Lucas and Farkle only for it to be broken one day. That one day is today!! Ughhhh! I cannot do this anymore! She's holding me hostile from everything. I DON'T WANT HER SONGS, I DON'T WANT MY PAST, I WANT A FUTURE!!! That's all I ask! I began thinking of the whole hostile thing at school. I wrote a post called A Future Awaits. Click here to view it. Moving on from that post. I just don't wanna be held hostile anymore. I want a future. Why can't I have a future where I don't have to be miserable? I liked how things were going 1-2 days ago. What's changed since? Lucas and Farkle did nothing to impact this. They just will soon when they take her side. Oh, I can see it happening! We play out steps 1 through 4 and also 7. I don't know what to do. I am TIRED of feeling like she's hostile. I wont do it until I don't feel this way. I refuse. I don't expect something, I just expect her to actually not be hostile. I don't want my past at all. I just want a future. I want a happy and bright future. Why can't that happen to me? Why does the bright futures always happen to other people? Never me. It's always them. I have to be the girl with a hostile best friend, while others don't.

I realized something through writing this. It's not my past at all. I've realized that for the past while, it doesn't bother me not having my past. Seeing images from my past, and what my future could be with it, doesn't matter. It's my future. I want a future. I didn't think friendship was hostile enough to hold someone from living happily every day. Why can't I be someone who can go to someone and say "This is what I want" and within seconds you are on the computer happily doing whatever it takes. You aren't trying to hide what you're doing because that's what you should be doing. It's what people suspect you'll be doing. I wish I could be that way. It just wont happen, I guess. I thought yesterday and last night, "friendship is not a hostile thing! No way!" and now I think, "or is it..?" It's not supposed to be, let me tell ya that! It's not normal for a friend to be hostile, it's just not. Maya just can't do it. She's way too hostile!! Why can't she be not hostile?!? I just wish she'd be... normal!! Like someone who isn't very extremely totally hostile! Ugghhhhh!!!! WHY?!?!?! Friendship shouldn't be a hostile thing. Life is supposed to be enjoyable. Why is it not?! Why can't this current life be NOT hostile! I just want her to be acceptive. I understand why she wouldn't except the past back, I mean come on, history. Too much background! Why can't she be considerate of something that has no background!?! WHY?!? I can handle it, why can't you? I mean from the start, I had 2 things. Now, I've lost one. I don't want it, but I want something. So, can't I get ANYTHING else I want? No, not with Maya Hart. She's extreme with her hostility! I'll end off this post by saying, friendship officially is a hostile thing.

A Future Awaits Me

I am happy to say that soon enough in life, there'll be so much more for me to live for. I'll be able to do many things. I know I don't have much of a life now, but eh, it's waiting for me! I'll walk to school happily. I'll live such a happy life. I'll have children of my own one day! I can raise kids!! It'll be fun! I'll live in a house in NYC, not far from my parents house! A future for me is waiting! It's all ready to be accepted one day! My blog will have 3000 pageviews! I will write about a life! My future is amazing looking. I just cannot wait for that day to come!! WISH ME LUCK WITH A NEW FUTURE! One day, things will be 100% clarified to me. I will have many friends, like my friends now. I'll never leave them!! The future seems so bright! In fact, I am planning my future now! It's a really fun and good topic to think of. How will you live your life later? How will you be? I just know that for an 100% fact I'll be with my friends and family! Life is worth living for your future, and your present. I am living in the present, I cannot wait to get a move on. Every second is the future. I don't wanna miss a thing in life!! Life is somthing worth living! I'm glad I get to live it with the people I have, and people who will be in my life later on. A future awaits me. Right now. My future will one day come. I can feel it. I can see my road going very well! THANKS BE TO THE FUTURE! I cannot wait. Because every second counts! My bright future awaits me!

Who Knew: The New Quotev

So, Kidzworld. That "great website that I think is fun" I was blocked from. Uh huh, Riley Matthews, blocked. Too bad for me, I guess. It sucks. Now I don't have a fun chatty website to go on... :( I miss emoticons. I miss it from Quotev and Kidzworld. I'm upset with this. Oh well, I guess. What can I do about it? I guess chat sites aren't the number one thing out there, am I right? No... I'm not. Chat sites are fun for kids around my age. Eh, I've got so much more out there waiting for me! So, who knew I'd be blocked from both sites??

The Only Ones Who Knew

Hey, Blogger. So, I have an announcement. If you accessed my page from August 31st, you know that it is very long, right? Well, someone deleted it and it wasn't me. So, someone who knows my password did. Either Maya, Lucas, or Farkle is who I am accusing of deleting it. They knew my password and I now realize I needed to change it and now they'll never guess it. So, I know to defend themselves they'd say "Maybe someone hacked you" but if I was hacked, it would be very likely my password would be changed and I would have gotten an e-mail saying someone may have hijacked me. If one of them who knew my password logged in, they would just think it's me. Besides, what interest would a hacker have of deleting one of my blog pages? I think it was one of the 3 of them because I wrote a lot about Matthew West on my blog yesterday, and they must have gotten annoyed. Then coincidently the next day the huge blog page based on it is gone. Basically, these 3 are the only ones who knew. Whoever did it is going to have to say so, because if they don't, I'll get back on all 3 of them for this because it was clearly and obviously one of them.

Another Night Like That

Again as it tends to happen a lot, I'll probably end up sleeping on that tiny Auggie bed. I can't take dealing with this. I just wish for everything to be back like it was the day of the swimming pool (so basically 24 hours ago). I miss those times. I don't even think I can do the thing with Farkle if I don't have anything to talk about. It's highly unlikely Maya will tell me a story. Although I might have the fight to talk about, but he's probably happily at home, in bed an hour and a half ago. Another night I will be cramped up in that bed made for a 5 year old. I really just pray something good will happen as in stopping this fight with Maya and going back to the swimming pool us!

Believe It Or Not

Believe it or not, 2 weeks ago the Matthew West stuff was going on. I have comments on the video reading "2 weeks ago." I was shocked to see that. I had one saying it was my newest and best song. Remember when. It's still pretty high up, though. Yeah, believe it or not, it's true. It was 2 weeks ago when that song was number one. It was 2 weeks ago it was the last song in my playlist. It was 2 weeks ago I was hurt. It was 2 weeks ago, that I wasn't me. People can change you. I'm still getting used to being normal again. You must think it's rediculous to be not fully processed to being normal. Really, it's harder than it looks. Sometimes, those images that I went through just pop into my head here and there, and I'm not the same girl. It's good that I can reflect on this, is it not? I always have stuff to look back on. I always have this song. I'm still shocked I actually once wanted it out of my playlist. I love it now! How did I ever think that? Well, I did. I'm gonna leave off this post by saying, believe it or not!

The New Quotev

After being blocked by Quotev, I've decided to join Kidzworld! It's amazing so far. I am getting so many friends, a lot faster that I did on Quotev! It's a much better website to me. I can upload a million photos. I can have a blog on there! It's fun! CHECK OUT KIDZWORLD!

The Worthless They Made You Feel -Matthew West-

A line from my 4th most favorite song, Matthew West- Broken Girl, says "Your not the worthless they made you feel." You know, how my friends they just start fights. Anytime I fight with them, I can come and rely on Broken Girl. I always just thought of this song as the August-Abuse song. Yeah, that's been my little name for it. I know the abuse was in August because my blog page for the last time I was with them was the last day of August, the 31st. So, I always thought of it that way. Now, I realized Broken Girl is much more than that. It is a song I can rely on to cheer me up. It's telling me "You don't have to stay the broken girl" and it makes me think I don't have to. It's such a good song and it's so reflecting. Like I did with Time's Up, I am gonna post the lyrics and put in color what represents me. This time because this song reflected me very well in the past, and those same parts would not reflect me anymore, I'll do a different colour for my past, as well. I'll also have a colour for both. Here we go with colours...

PAST: GREEN
PRESENT: BLUE
BOTH: RED

Look what he's done to you
It isn't fair
Your light was bright and new
But he didn't care

He took the heart of a little girl
And made it grow up too fast

Now words like "innocence"
Don't mean a thing
You hear the music play
But you can't sing

Those pictures in your mind
Keep you locked up inside your past

(chorus)

This is a song for the broken girl
The one pushed aside by the cold, cold world
You are
Hear me when I say
You're not the worthless they made you feel

There is a Love they can never steal away
And you don't have to stay the broken girl

Those damaged goods you see
In your reflection
Love sees them differently
Love sees perfection

A beautiful display
Of healing on the way tonight
Tonight

(chorus)

This is a song for the broken girl
The one pushed aside by the cold, cold world
You are
Hear me when I say

You're not the worthless they made you feel
There is a Love they can never steal away
And you don't have to stay the broken girl

(bridge)

Let your tears touch to the ground
Lay your shattered pieces down
And be amazed by how Grace can take a broken girl
And put her back together again

(chorus)

This is a song for the broken girl
The one pushed aside by the cold, cold world
You are
Hear me when I say
You're not the worthless they made you feel
There is a Love they can never steal away
And you don't have to stay the broken girl
You don't have to stay the broken girl

As you can tell, the first parts and the second part similar to the first part are majortly my past because the song is mainly about my past, not my present. It's not supposed to be a song to reflect me right now. The chorus is red. A little bit of it is blue. Let me explain why some certain lines were certain colours.

One of the parts of the beginning said "He took the heart of a little girl, and made it grow up too fast." I put that in green because, come on. I related to that line so well. I even posted it everywhere on Quotev. Stories, About Me. You know.

There's part that says, "Those pictures in your mind, keep you locked up inside yout past." I put that in blue because sometimes I go back to those terrible August moments, and those pictures keep me locked up inside my own head. Besides, it says locked up in your past. That's what I reflect on.

Another part says, "Those damaged goods you see, in your reflection" and yeah, I did. I always looked at myself and I liked me decently. Then, one morning after abuse, I went and I looked in the mirror. I saw my face, red and pale. I saw my hair falling out, and I looked down at myself. I was damaged. Being fixed is hard. Sometimes, here and there, my hair falls out!!! :D

The chorus was in red because the chorus isn't much for the abuse part of the song, it's more just for anyone to reflect on. That's what I did. The other parts are one or another. Thanks for reading and checking back. As moments go on, Broken Girl only gets better! I love this song! In fact, I am listening to it right now. Alright, check back for more!

When One Overreacts

ATTENTION! If you haven't recently viewed Take On The World, you missed some important posts! You gotta catch up!! To view the 2 lastest post click HERE and RIGHT HERE.

~Riley Matthews

 Today like 20-30 minutes ago, I went outside with Maya, Lucas, and Farkle. We went to the big park. Maya and Lucas were discussing something personal (about me and Farkle??) and they were talking loud thinking we couldn't hear them. I told them we couldn't. I said, "Ha! We can hear you! We just tricked you because Maya's dumb!" I laughed. Maya was mad. Oh, seriously, grow up, it was a joke already! A joke. Can't take a joke? Well, then you might not wanna be friends with me, because I try to make people laugh. Seriously, she overreacted. She needs to realize it was a joke. Really, I wouldn't randomly be rude like that. It's just not me to do that. So, here are some quotes for this situation...

I am sick of people overreacting and stuff. Take a joke, it's not a big deal.

REPLY

So, here is my EWC reply. Not the best (again) but I asked for a second opinion to another elder. It's decent and he's amazing (the guy who gave me the advice). I've been waiting all day for it, and now it's back! Alright, here we go...

Your Letter: I Need Help Decision-Making! (#343541)

Hi, I'm Riley Matthews. I have 3 friends named Maya, Lucas, and Farkle. Maya is my best friend. Since the first grade, I've been friends with Maya and Farkle, and Farkle's had a crush on me since the first grade. Now he is equally in love with Maya. Lucas we just met this year. Ever since I met Lucas, I've had a crush on him. I've liked him, a lot. We bonded here and there, and I really liked him.

In the past 2 weeks or so, I've been connecting with Farkle more. We spent a lot of time together leading to kissing 4 times (5 if you count him kissing my chin, and me trying to back up). I've felt something for him, but I don't really know what. All I know, is that I like both him and Lucas. Farkle and I spend a lot of our time together (when I'm not with Maya). Out of Farkle and Lucas, I'm not sure who I like better. They both know about my problem and told me to follow my heart. They both said that they wouldn't mind if I chose the other, but I know my friends, they'd be pretty upset. I know it.

Then another thing is, Maya, my best friend seems jealous of me spending time with Farkle. Definently not because she likes him, but because she wants to be the one to spend time with me. So, I tell her that I will begin to spend time with her, and forget about Farkle. She denies it. She thinks I have a close relationship with Farkle, and that's good. So, I don't know what she really wants. Maya has personal family issues. Her dad left when she was 2 months old, and her mom pays no attention to her, so I feel bad that I don't spend time with her, because she doesn't even have a family to go home to.

What should I do" Should I choose Farkle or Lucas" Should I spend more time with Maya, or continue to spend time and bond with Farkle" Please help me! I really need it!

Elder Reply

~~Romantic feelings among close friends can get very complicated as you are finding out.  Jealousy can come from many directions.  Friends can be jealous of another friend’s relationship with someone whom they like, or think they might like.  And jealousy can come from just wanting to spend more time with a friend who is spending time with someone else, boy or girl.  It is easy to then feel guilty about your relationships knowing they are making other people jealous or upset.  So what is the right answer?

Riley, romantic relationships will come and go for many years at your age, but friendships last.  When one breaks up with a boyfriend, or the boyfriend finds a girl he likes more for the moment, it is your friends who will be there for you and with you.  To have friends we need to be friends.  And this does not mean that one can’t have a boyfriend and still be friends with other people.  Real friends stick by each other in good times and bad.  It just takes being open and honest with each other.

So Farkle or Lucas?  Time will settle this.  Spend time with both and you will find out who you are most comfortable with.  Which one you have more in common with.  Which one makes you feel good about yourself.  Which one makes you laugh.  Which one is a good person overall.  Which one you enjoy being with.  Don’t play them against each other though as this competition can ruin friendships.  Continue to be friends with both and in time the decision will become obvious.

Spend more time with Maya or Farkle?  Maya is a long-time friend who needs you as a friend.  Don’t ignore her or push her away.  Again, friendships can be forever so don’t let anyone come between you if you still like her and like doing things with her.  This does not mean that you can’t see Farkle or Lucas.  It means dividing your time between them.  We all do that in life.  We have a few close friends and we do things separately and we do things together. 

Riley, it seems that you have a nice group of friends with Maya, Farkle, and Lucas.  If I were you, I would try my best to stay friends with all of them and not let jealousies destroy your friendships.  It’s OK to have a boyfriend and still be friends with the others.  Be honest in all your communications and let others know how you feel and ask them how they feel about things.  Talking is the best cure for friendship problems.

You sound like a nice person and one who cares about others’ feelings.  I know you will do the right things.  Feel free to write again if I can be of further help.  Good luck.

Sincerely,

Papa-Tom

So, there we go. My EWC letter has been returned! Thank you to Papa-Tom who has helped me very much! I love this reply, thanks!

ElderWisdomCircle Finally Returned to Me!

I was bored, I didn't think ElderWisdomCircle would reply to me. Then, I went to check and they did! I didn't read it yet. Tell me I don't get Jim and I get amazing advice!!!! Come on, God! HELP ME HERE! I am happy, though! YAY!

Small by Amanda Falk

I have a new song!! Yiperee! This is spectacular! It is called Small by Amanda Falk. It is kinda like Matthew West, it comes on the Christian station but it doesn't have much Christian words in it. I really like it, though! So, don't listen to it. Currently it is number one so... yeah! Thanks for your respect!!

Terrible Frights of a Best Friend

9 years ago...

I don't know really what day or even the time of day was, but something happend around 9 years ago. Maya was a little 3 year old girl. She was at home, when she was with her mom. She hadn't aten in 5 hours at that point. Then, for all I know, she was taken into the basement, starving. She hadn't aten in like 8 hours at three years old. That's not good for a 3 year old. So, she began... she began to throw up. She was almost dead, really. If she didn't eat for any longer, she may not be here today. My best friend, was 3 years old when this happened to her.

For a best friend to hear this, it concerns me. How do I deal with this? She is still living with that same woman who starved her 3 year old daughter for 8 hours and made her be in the basement and then puke. Maya Hart, my 12 year old best friend is that little girl. It scares me half to death. I am frightened right now. I need to talk to Farkle or someone about this. I w-will cry. I guess I already am. How could a woman do that to my best friend? She was 3 years old! THREE! Does Miss Katy Hart realize that Maya was three years old? Even if she wanted to (and I bet she did), she couldn't get up and eat. She couldn't! Was she that street smart as a 3 year old? The kid couldn't even talk! That's not normal! No mother doesn't teach her baby to talk until that baby is 4! No mother makes her baby girl who is 3 stay in the basement and not eat for hours! Who would do that? If I knew her then, her mom would have been pounded out by that little 3 year old! Even 3 year old Riley Matthews would have been that smart. Smart enough to save a friend's life. My best friend, my girl. Does anyone understand, she is mine! My best friend! My girl! And you can't just starve her like that. This makes me wanna keep her away from home. Who knows what could happen. It's now just like how I look at Carlina's house. "A little 4 year old is being hurt in there." And now I'll look at Maya's house and think, "A little 3 year old girl was starved in there." The worst part is, both Maya and Carlina's was by their own parents. What kind of parent does that to their daughter or son? A 3-4 year old. Nobody deserves that. Especially those innocent children! I need someone. I c-can't go on without talking to someone about this... I just can't.

This is the terrible fright of a best friend that no best friend ever wants to hear...

The Best Night of My Life

Earlier today, Maya, Lucas, Farkle, and I all went to the leisure centre to go swimming! On the way there, Matthew West came on. Not my song, but it was him. I just said, "Matthew West" and Maya was SHOCKED! She looked and saw it said "Now playing Matthew West." Coincidence because before we even left the town, she said Matthew West wouldn't come on now that we mentioned it. Anyways, ot was great fun! Before we got in, we tried to beat the boys to see who can get out of the pool first. Then, we ended up getting out at 1:14 and they were 1:16 or seventeen for something. First, we all were rocking each other off the tube that we stole! Also, we always leaned back on the tube and held ourselves up with our feet! We had teams. It was frenquelly our muffin groups. Maya and Lucas, and me and Farkle. Maya couldn't swim, so Farkle and I were cautious not to let her fall. Farkle on the other hand, tended to often fall off. It was extra fun! Maya did end up almost drowing in the waves. I jumped in to the pool, and I took her to shore. So, after that comes the quite funny part!! Maya and I went to the blue slide. We were about to go when we were figuring out groups to go in. So, we decided to let the little blonde boy go ahead of us. Finally, Maya scared him off. It began coming naturally that we scared kids. Earlier in the pool, we saw 4 men that looked like vikings. Soon, they came on the slide, and they turned out to be very nice! I talked to them and said they have nice necklaces! Then, 2 Indian boys or something came and we tried to scare them. It wouldn't work. So, we battled the boys for sometime. We threatened to jump on them in the pool, and they screamed like baby girls. So, then the smaller one pushed me in the pool. I was offended, kinda. Then, Maya and I were fighting about friends. I thought she liked Lucas better than me (because she said he would teach her to swim, not me) and she thought I liked Farkle better. So, we split into those groups. I was with Farkle when we went and stood by an edge. We were talking, and suddenly we kissed. We both pulled away. "You know everyone's staring at us, right?" I said. "Yeah. Do we care?" "Nope!" I said, and we began kissing again for about 5 more seconds. I gotta admit, I understand why people were looking at us weirdly. Two twelve year olds kissing in a public swimming pool. Duh, weird!! Anyways, then me and Farkle went into the Animal Attic. We met this kid who told us to go along with his plan to make his friends think we were coming down the slide when they were trying to climb up. Then, he showed me an Indian in a red bathing suit who was 13-14 years old. She was his friend (when frenquelly he was a blonde hair blue eyes kid). Then, he told me to jump inside the tiger and scare her when she comes up. I said I don't wanna get involved. Farkle and I walked by her. "Hey, we were just talkin about you!" I said. She looked at me weird. She didn't even know me. So, then we left. Also, long before that, they paged Valerie Matthews to come to the pool office twice. That "Valerie" was me. I didn't know. Then while with Farkle, I heard Riley Matthews paged. "It's me, isn't it?" I said. "Yup." Farkle said. "Let's go." We said going to the pool office. Then, we all made up and went to the slide. It rocked!! Maya went with Lucas and dug her nails into him! It was funny because she was scared! I went with Farkle and we went like 5 seconds before being followed by the two of Maya and Lucas. So, me and Farkle always heard Maya screaming. Also, I said to Farkle "Daddy hold me! Hold me!" Like I said when I was 8 to my dad on Cyclone Day! Then he said on the next ride, "Riley hold me! Hold me!" and I was like, "I AM!" and we laughed. I said we were like a angry married couple. He considered being a lousy and angry married couple who have been angrily married for 28 years as a victory. That was officially the best night! We ended up going to McDonalds! I LOVED THIS NIGHT!!

Tell Me There's A Pass

My friends took Maya's side. That girl! She just keeps taking my friends! I always thought it sucked real bad when my life lyed on Farkle. Now I miss that. He was basically what I had. He hugged me, told me it's okay. He said to me last night this, "I've got you right here. You can cry to me." I really felt like I could go to him. Maya's stories had me cry my eyes out. Also, I have something else on mind about that. We may be in a fight, but of course I still want to cry about it, because I do care. I just don't show it. Now, I can't even cry to Farkle about it. I can only cry to.... nobody. Lucas is gone too. So, the only reason I am not being so nice to them, is ElderWisdomCircle. They said, "I know that normally I don't encourage this, but I think you're almost hopeless here, so this may help you. Just act to your friends like you don't care, and they'll feel concerned that you don't care. Finally, they'll care, and you'll care. This might be your only hope." So, my only hope was to make them feel that way, so I can explain to them I don't, and then make them and me happy. I miss my friends not turning on me! I told Farkle to take Maya's side. I said it because I didn't think he would. He... H-He did... he gave me up. He really thought I-I wanted that... I-I... This has been hard, really. I can't take this. I just hope that things can just resolve. I am not liking the new Maya. She's mean and negative... I want my girl back. The one that really cared. I never felt she was annoyed of me. Never. I-I guess so, though. I just remembered something about Maya's stories, and I don't even have anyone to cry to or tell. Farkle. He just... left.. like she did. One by one, they all left. Tell me that there will be something to put us back together. I just feel like I'm slipping away. Why can't there just be a pass through this.

A few weeks ago, I prayed to God. I prayed that I'd have someone to talk to about Maya's life. I mean, it hurt me to hear that. It would be cruel to talk to her about it. That's what I prayed for. God gave me Farkle. I realized that when you pray, you really do get what you need. Thank God for That! But now, why does God let me walk through this place of pain? I realized, God answers prayers. Here is my prayer...

Dear God,
God, thank you for giving me someone to talk to about Maya. I really did need that. I still do. Howcome they left, though? I thought they loved me, really, I did. B-But, they left me for the 3 of them. God, I just want them back. I want to still have Farkle to talk to about Maya's hard life, I want Lucas to be his nice Lucas self, I want Maya to be my best friend again. Can you make that happen for me? Can you answer my prayer and make it what needs to happen? Do what's best. Make it as good as you feel I need. God, I just want my friends back. Thank you, Jesus. I'll be sure to thank you again soon.

HOW?!?

So, freaking out right now!!! HAHAHAHA! FREAKING GREEN I AM DEAD! Ya, ahaha! There are no more words left... hahahah!!!! Oh my gosh!!!! HAHAHAH! This is... crazyy!!!! Okay, okay, okay, okay... I need to calm myself down.... Okay, okay. So, new episodes aired last night. So, I watched Girl Meets Smackle (not as good as I thought, seriously). So, they began airing the worst episode's commerical. It is Girl Meets 1961. About it, we go back in time, and I have a crush... on... FARKLE! Yeah, so I thought it was the worst episode. Until....

Here it is, just watch this...

So, you've watched this. IT'S MUFFIN EPISODE!! AHHHH! The epiosde where I, RILEY MATTHEWS, is alone... with FARKLE! We do a project together!!! YIKES!!! AHHH! Coincidently, it's right after Girl Meets 1961 where I have a crush on Farkle. I-I'm... speechless. No words left. Wow. I thought muffins wouldn't air until... way later!!! I thought June or next October!!! Nope! It's in 2 WEEKS!! 2 WEEKS I WILL BE SITTING THERE WATCHING MUFFIN EPISODE!!!!! AHHHHHHHHH! I hope nothing happens between me and Farkle! I am... SCARED!!! How, seriously, HOW!?!

That Apparent Thing

So, yesterday I was reading my wikia. My wikia said I was something called "neurotic." The weird thing is, neurotic means that you are suffering from anxiety. What is anxiety you ask? Well, let me tell ya! Anxiety is basically being anxious or nervous. It is an unpleasent state accompanied by nervous behaviours such as pacing back and forth. You can also get very easily jealous and lost in your own head. Neurotic is also basically when you obsess over someone's sad, unpleasent life and overreact about it. Apparently my dad had it too! My wikia even says so. Neurotic is also like OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder). It's a major part of it. I took a neurotic test this morning and it had results for things that I will experience or that I am experiencing. One of them was OCD and that was my highest one over anxiety and other things. OCD is when you keep on repeating and doing the same thing. I do that a lot now that I think of it. There is proof I am neurotic (apparently) on wikia. Just search neurotic on Girl Meets World wikia and there will be 3 pages all involving me on results. So, that is apparently me. And my dad! Thank God I am not the only one!

Before He Cheats

So, I have a new song! It is called Before He Cheats by Carrie Underwood! I love it! The thing is, everyone's heard it from 2009-2010. Yeah, it's such a good song though. Like my Behind These Hazel Eyes was. As soon as you hear even one note of the beginning noise, you'll immediately know the song. It's probably number two, because my My Heart Is Broken is still number 1. So, I will not post Before He Cheats on here because I know even by an accidental click of that button (play), you'll know it 100%. So, safe keeping!

The Base of Your Life, Not Mine

I am still devastated about everything that's been going on between Maya and I. I am sick of it enough to explode. After school, at 2:10 because it's a Friday, I am going home. Home as in with my mom, dad, and Auggie. I am sick and tired of this. All I have is Farkle, and that's not normal. I'd be better off at home. I have a family there, at least, who will support me. Lucas has taken Maya's side. He seems to want me and Farkle to feel bad for her. If that's what he wants, then no. I am not giving in. If anyone wants to fix this, it's not me. I'll live my life at home. I am keeping up with myself. I am sick and tired of this madness. I am just going home! There's no way I can do this anymore!!! So, I'm done with this dumb thing. FINISHED! Live your life on your own, because I wont be there for you. If the base of my life lyes on Farkle, I am not doing this. So, do this dumb life on your own, I am not into this. New episodes air tonight, what are we gonna do? Nothing. You'll do nothing. I've got nothing at all better to do. If this is what the base of my life lyes on, count me OUT! I am not doing this. I miss weeks ago. School was fun, home was fun. Well, there is no say in the school thing. I only had my history project which I loved ever so dearly. So, give up on me, because I am giving up. All I have to look forward to is Religion which is in 3 hours! And once that ends, what else do I have? Nothing! A D.S. doesn't cheer me up. Besides, it's Riley and Emily's. I don't wanna erase their stuff. They'll kill me, and I don't want to be dead. Well, I do but not from being murdered!! So, this is my life basis. I want a better one, but that CLEARLY wont happen. My song is right. If nothing changes, nothing changes!!! If these fights haven't changed within these weeks, they won't change! This will ALWAYS happen, because NOTHING CHANGES! Again like the same song said, Better we slam the door shut! It's better that way. I am not doing this!!! The only thing worth my time is Farkle Minkus! Really?! If Farkle is all my life is worth, THAT'S SAD! He's awesome and I love him, but it's still sad when your life lyes on one person who will often go with your enemy too! He will do that, that's why I am not gonna get my hopes up for him not to. I bet Maya has this dumb homework to do, and she'll invite the 1 person I have to do it! THIS IS YOUR LIFE, NOT MINE!

Finish This Off

The 3 of us abandoned eachother, now we'll all fight over Lucas. Lucky for Maya, she's with him in school. I am caught with Farkle who I lost. I am just here to finish this whole thing off. I am done doing this. Maya and I fight way too much.  Normally, we wouldn't. So, I am just saying, I'm done. I can't take this. And yeah, if someone like Farkle or Lucas is reading this, don't blame yourselves. I don't dislike you, I just can't be friends with you if I am not with Maya. It's not that I don't want to, I'd love to, but I can't. It's just time to finish this off. I can't do this. Until it fixes, this is how it's staying. Don't be afraid to talk to me because I'll be there, I'll listen for as long as I have to, just know that I can't do this anymore. Convince me all you'd like, maybe it will work maybe it wont, but as of now, I can't. So, I am here to finish this, right now. I love you guys, but it's too much work to keep figting. Until this fighting phase is done, I am just on my own. You guys all will be, because that dumb group of 3 rule is still going. And if that 3 of you thing happens, then I'll just go back to the way it was a few months ago. If not, we'll see. I will only do it to get back at you. Because seriously, this sucks. Your problem now if it goes back to that. You can change if it does or not. What's your choice now, guys?

One by One We Lost

Last night, it all happened with Maya again. We went to bed with her and Farkle in the 2 main beds, and me in the Auggie one. I first cried lightly, and then it only got stronger and stronger. Eventually, I was crying like crazy. Like it happened the other night, Farkle came to me. This time, Maya came first. I didn't give in to her. I didn't give in because I knew I needed someone to talk to about her because she told Farkle her 3 year old story of her mom not paying any attention to her, and it caused me to cry more hearing that. So, I just lyed there. Then, after she left, my tears fell harder. Then, I felt a gentle hand touch my back. "Hi Riley" Farkle said sweetly. I ignored him and cried. "Are you okay?" He said. "Come here" he said struggling to turn me towards him. Finally, I turned to him. He had a loving hand on me. "Come give Farkle a hug. Come on, you know you want to." He said. As odd as he sounded saying that, I wanted to. I hugged him tightly. He didn't let me go, and I liked that. Finally, we both let go and he was asking me to tell him what's wrong. The first thing I said was, "I would've went to Maya if it wasn't about her. It's hard to talk to her about her and it's easier to-" I said as Farkle cut me off. "Easier to talk to Farkle." He said. I nodded. I told him what was wrong, and I cried when I talked about Maya's stories. He held me closely and tightly in his arms, and told me it was okay. Do you know how good that is? Someone is holding you closely and tightly. They wont let go, and they tell you that it's okay. Eventually, Farkle and I just talked a little bit off topic, but we still were hugging. I was basically hooked to that kid last night. He then eventually said that he wanted to go to bed, and I should choose whether to sleep with him or Maya. I chose Maya at first, then I looked at Farkle sitting there. I felt his arms wrap around me, and I liked that. I couldn't leave him. If Maya and I weren't fighting, I would have easily went more. I had Emily and Riley's DS with me listening to my songs. I turned it off, and went with Farkle. Maya woke up and she was negative. She was really mad. I felt like it was all my fault so I said so. Farkle convinced me it wasn't. I kept on threatening to go back on the Auggie bed stating it would be better off without me there, because I caused those problems. Finally, Farkle told me that she is mad at him, not me. He said that nobody will be mad at me. A part of me had disbelief there, but I was sad, exhausted, and terrified (from Maya's story, still). I lyed back down, and immediately layed my head on Farkle and cried hardly to him. He took my hand and held me in his arms until I fell asleep listening to my My Heart Is Broken. I woke up with Maya poking me. It seemed like she was trying to be rude. So, I didn't get up. She angrily walked upstairs. I leaned my head back on Farkle. He didn't move. I got up, and went to get ready for school. Eventually, Farkle came up. After bonding or talking or whatever it was with Farkle last night, we both walk upstairs like strangers. Like that never happened. Like we are in just as big of a fight as Maya and I are, when we weren't even fighting to begin. It was like one by one, we all stormed off on each other. It was Maya, then me, then Farkle. One by one, we lost each other.

After a long night and a long 6 years of life all together, we've finally taken off on each other. One by one, just gone like that. Goodbye is hard, but it has to be done. Maya left me and Farkle, I left Farkle, and Farkle just followed along. One by one we lost eachother.

What's My Strange Reason For Annoyance?

So, today I decided I would record my songs on Emily and Riley's (Maya's cousins) DS. Emily said I could, she is older, so I trust her. Although her sister gets mad more easily, Emily said she'd be okay. So, I recorded a lot of my top songs. Including sad songs like Best Friends Forever and My Heart Is Broken. I listened to them while getting my shower ready. In the shower, I sang both the songs twice. After My Heart Is Broken, I began to cry. What has happened to my life? Then, I got out and blow dried my hair while listening to them. I almost cried. I didn't even know what happened to my life. Also, I seriously hate it when Maya and Farkle have to do Maya's homework together, alone. I hate it. I get easily annoyed by it. Because Maya earlier said they would do it again, I was annoyed. Because of that, after my shower I didn't want to know they were. So, I didn't look into the living room, and I cranked up My Heart Is Broken. I sat at the computer and quickly traded my headphones into the computer instead of Emily and Riley's DS. I cranked up the advertisements and then my song played. Now, I sit here with them cranked up. Now, I'll be sure just to rush to bed on Auggie's bed thing, again. Now, I'll have my songs to fall asleep to. It'll make sleeping on that little thing a whole lot easier. So, here we go again.

Uninspired Not Required

Maya and I kinda snapped at each other again. I can barely do this. I am not inspired here. Nothing makes me wanna do this. I hate this life. Wikia ruined me, Maya ruined me, now I have nobody. It's unfair, and I am getting tired of dealing with this. I am not inspired to keep going. Why am I not inspired? I miss being happy when I had a good life. I miss when I had my history project and I was more than happy! It was really fun to do. Fun things make you less miserable. I guess I have to just give up on this. I am un-inspired, so I shouldn't be required to keep going. I hate doing it. Goodbye to being uninspired. I just cannot take it. So, I am not going to be required until I am inspired. And in a million centuries will that happen to me!

Head Patter Returns!

In the first grade, Maya, Farkle, and I were in the same class as a kid named Geovoni who was often called Geo for our 1st grade, 2nd grade and 3rd grade years. He was the kid who always picked his nose and patted my head. He was that really awkward kid. He invited Maya and I to his 7th birthday at a gymnastics place. So, I always brought him up here and there saying "Remember him?" and thinking I'd never see him again. Also, there was a kid named Thomas Lee who went to my school for kindergarten-grade 3 who had a crush on me that whole time. He would never stop liking me. My dad laughed at that. Anyways, today in my art class, I was sitting across from 2 boys. They were acting like chimps. So, I began having a conversation with them. Suddenly, I was talking about my past school life. The one boy said, 'I think I know you.' and that boy was Geo. He said he knew a girl named Riley in the 1st grade to the 3rd and he has a school picture of her. He was playing dumb with me. To let him know it was me, I began to talk about Thomas Lee who had a crush on me (but then moved to Australia 1 day before I moved houses in October 2010). So, Geo blurted out, "Thomas! I know him!" and I was shocked. "Really? The one I knew moved to Australia." I said. "He did! But he comes back to visit me! I think I know you!!!" He kept saying. "I thought Thomas Lee died." I said. "No, he's still with us." Geo said. "You know, the Australia floods. I thought he died." I said. Geo laughed that I thought Thomas was dead. "I'm shocked you know him." I said. Geo nodded. A part of me really wants to know how Thomas Lee is doing. Really, I miss that kid hitting on me everyday. It was funny. Now, I know better than to be shy about it. I really miss that kid. Geo has given me more hope of seeing Thomas again. I really do wanna know how he turned out. Another thing checked off my list, seeing how Geovoni turned out. Here's my list...

• See how Geovoni turned out
• See how Thomas Lee turned out
• Re-meet Thomas Lee
• Know whether Thomas Lee is dead or not
• See how Hailey Furlong turned out (from my 1st grade)

This is what I want to know. I really want to know this. Thomas Lee is actually alive!!! I am shocked. He is living and breathing on this here planet earth. Alive, Thomas. How much I miss that kid, really. He was... weird. He was mean to me only once in my entire life. Well, Head Patter Geo returns, and I guess he's matured a bit.