Doesn't That Mean Dead?

Sometimes, I am told by certain people what I am doing wrong. What they see me as, and it's not good. They say that I just don't have what other people have. Maybe not saying that, but that's how I take it as. I just.... I don't even know. I'm speechless. Speechless. I just can't take this through. Let me walk you through this.

Farkle was talking normally to me, when he started pointing out what I was doing wrong. How I'm not satisfied with anything or anyone, as he put it. And how I am not like everyone else, as I took it. I mean, why would Farkle Minkus make me feel this way?! He was supposed to be the good guy. He would NEVER say that to me in the episodes. I've been trying to go back to episodes, and Maya and I have been 100% fine since either Sunday or Monday.

This may not have anything to do with how Farkle made me feel tonight but it is very true. I wish that he would say that his life has changed since he met me. I wish he would just tell me those things I dreamt.

This is so how I feel about Farkle. It's on and off. Back and fourth. I'd like to leave it at off for now, but I don't know. I can't predict the future, can I? Nah, I've got a good idea of it.

And last off. This. Farkle created this himself and sent it to me. Doesn't that mean dead?! He wants me dead. He wants me out of life. He doesn't wanna see me. He may not make me die, but I'll show him. I'll show him what it's like to die inside. I'll show him how he made me feel. But still. Dead? Does he really....